rattlingthestars | IC Inbox

Could be worth it.

[ He sees the touch and the meaning is clear. Pressing a kiss against his throat.

It's not hard for him to figure out what happens next. ]

You let him go.

[ Jim's throat works under Zell's lips as he swallows hard, past the lump that forms at the memory. ]

-Yeah, I did. He asked me to come with him, too. I thought about it.

[ Zell is trying to line that up with if Seifer asked him to come, but he would say no frickin' way.

Maybe comparing Silver to Matron or Cid would be better? It works better, in a way that still doesn't fit into any clear places.

He's quiet for a moment as tries to wrap it around before finally asking ] What did you say to that?

I thought about it.

[ It's quiet, and there's a pause like he's waiting for Zell to judge him. ]

It sounds nice, doesn't it? No expectations. No rules. Just taking whatever you want and going wherever you want and doing whatever you want without worrying about anybody else.

[ Thinking about the no rules or expectations is hard. Zell's whole life consists of rules and expectations. Have to maintain the reputation of being SeeD and everything with that.

This place is closer to that. No rules or expectations from anyone really.

Then he'll make a noise as he realizes that for someone who feels like they let people down a lot, it would be nice.

Scooting up to press a kiss against Jim's cheek. ]

Yeah, it might be nice. Never really thought about it before, Stars. [ A part of him wonders if it would be nice with Jim. Like after all of this place, it could be nice to just not worry about anything for a while. ]

Really? Never?

[ Jim's spent so much time thinking about it he can't imagine not daydreaming of freedom sometimes.

He strains to look down at Zell. ]

No orders. No worrying about letting anyone else down. No cops or - or teachers telling you where you could ride or where we could ...

[ The thought stutters out. He doesn't have the words for 'make out' yet. ]

... could do this.

Never. I couldn't wait to get into Garden and make SeeD. [ Thinking aout it again as he nuzzles against Jim's cheek. ]

Could also be because I didn't have a lot of expectations growing up. My ma was good with whatever I decided.

[ Walking his hand up to put his hand on Jim's cheek to turn his face towards him. ]

This?

Not surprised. You're good at it.

[ Good, in general, Jim thinks. At everything.

He shifts around until they're in a better position for this, Jim flat on his back and Zell on top of him. ]

-This. Not good for the garden's reputation, right?

[ If he's trying to distract him, then it works. Back on top again and already leaning close to brush his lips against the corner of Jim's mouth to tease a little. This whole making out and having a boyfriend thing has been pretty great. He still feels giddy and fluttery on the inside when they get close and on the verge of wanting to go a litter further, but holding back because it's still early. They can take their time figuring it all out.

He's also hoping they can keep going like this long term. To give it his all to keep Jim coming back for more.

Thinking about the Garden's reputation for a moment before shaking his head. ]

I already made SeeD. So long as I'm not doing this in the middle of the hallway, then I don't think they'll care.

[ Maybe. Pressing his mouth on the other side of his face. ]

What about you? What about your world? Is this good?

We could always try it and find out.

[ Zell's giddiness is catching, apparently, or maybe it's just the position they're in.

Jim makes a thoughtful noise and tips his head, trying to give a serious answer. ]

It happens, you know? Some people don't like it and nobody ever really talks about it, but...

[ He shrugs as much as Zell's weight will allow. He doesn't think he'd mind making a big show out of it. ]

If you were a girl we probably shouldn't be doing this.

[ Bumping their noses together as he keeps his mouth barely an inch away from Jim's. Placing his arms on either side of his head to tangle his fingers in his hair. ]

Yeah, we can. We can try it as much as you would like. [ And in as many places possible. Brushing his lower lip against Jim's. ]

Are there more rules about dating a girl?

Hmm.

[ Jim thinks he'd like to try a lot, especially since it seems like people would kick up less of a fuss in Zell's world.

He snorts at the question. ]

Well. Don't have to worry about your reputation. Or... you know.

[ He glances down at Zell's stomach, or maybe something else. ]

A baby.

[ He starts to follow Jim's look down, and figures it's probably the stomach. It does bring his mind back down into places neither of them are ready yet. Instead of answering, he steals a quick kiss. ]

Wouldn't care about my rep anyways.

[ Not after this. Not after knowing how this feels. ]

Heh. Well, mine's already pretty bad.

[ Back home, Jim means. He's laughing about it right now, though. ]

You're pretty upstanding. Maybe people will think you're a good influence.

Not that upstanding. They think the only reason I became SeeD because they just judged on strength alone.

[ Which is a biiiiiiig no. Despite the topic though, he's smiling along. Fingers tangling in Jim's hair as he gives him another kiss. There is something amazing about this. A kind of warmth to this whole moment. ]

You know, I like this expression.

Then they don't know a thing about you.

[ And now the amused expression is turning a bit mullish. Dumbasses who don't appreciate Zell are both dumb and asses.

It's hard to stay fierce in a moment like that, though, so Jim just vows to appreciate Zell enough to make up for all those people.

Except: ]

-It's just my face.

[ Sucks for Jim because that expression is cute, too. Reaching up to try to smooth his eyebrows. ]

You were laughing.

[ Bumping noses as he grins. After the day they had, it's amazing to just forget it all and be able to smile like this. That all worries and all the bad is outside of the tent just for this moment. ]

This one is good, too.

[ Giving him a lingering kiss this time. ]

If I knew making faces at you was all it took -

[ Jim takes a moment to steal another lingering kiss in the middle of his sentence, because it's just that important. ]

- Would've done it ages ago.

[ As soon as he's done talking, Zell kisses him again. He's hooked on the taste and the feel. ]

And the hand holding.

[ Jim's expressions really did help endear him to Zell. Also him trying his best and exploring options despite the danger. Sliding his fingers through his hair as he gives him a slower and much longer kiss. It's nice. All of this is nice. ]

Remember when we were styling our hair the first time?

It's still on my tablet.

[ Jim hasn't set it - or anything sentimental - as his background. He doesn't want anyone looking at his tablet to know that much about him. But he he keeps it in a folder he can get to quickly and looks at it, sometimes. ]

Wouldn't mind doing that again. Not... the dressing up like Zack part.

Maybe I'll style your hair like mine.

[ He messes Jim's hair up to see if he can get it up into an appropriate crest. ]

Or maybe we can style it like Kunsel's?

[ Laughing softly at the thought. ]

[ It's pretty long these days, but Zell might be able to manage it. ]

As long as you're playing with it, I don't care.

Even if I add bows?

[ Brushing his lower lip against Jim's. Cupping the side of his face instead as he settles his weight on Jim. ]

Are you going to grow it out?

Maybe. It'd be easier than trying to keep it cut.

[ Jim shifts around to make sure Zell's balanced comfortably on top of him. ]

What do you think?

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he can play with something else ;d

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