[ The little part of Jim that's responsible for trying to stop him from letting himself get hurt again is screaming. For a moment it has him looking away, trying to hide the emotion that has to be written all over his face.
Like no-trespassing alarms and anything else that screams DANGER, JIM HAWKINS, though, in the end it just makes him go faster. That's why he's standing in the too-little space between Zell and the bed. It's easier when they're staring eye to eye, chest-to-chest to ask, quiet but stead: ]
[Helping with the blue balls. Well, he did want Jim closer, but he feels his throat going dry at this. The obvious answer is to say they were checking Zell’s tattoos, but Zell knows from the expression Jim is wearing that he’s referring to something else.
It’s the we that’s throwing him. He knows that his quick pulse and feeling heat on his face and ears from Jim’s proximity is because of his crush.
He doesn’t know what Jim means by both of them.
Tifa told him to be honest and he doesn’t want to hide anything from Jim.]
I don’t know about what we’re doing, but I do know what’s going on with me. [And he’s pretty sure it’s obvious if Jim is asking that.] I’m pretty sure I like you more than a friend. When I’m near you, my heart beats like crazy and it’s hard to breathe sometimes. All I want to do is hold your hand or- [ Kiss him. His attention drops from Jim’s eyes to his mouth. That probably wasn’t subtle at all.]
[ Jim's still checking out Zell's tattoos, if the hand remaining at Zell's bare hip counts as 'checking out.' He isn't looking, though; his eyes keep darting to Zell's face, studying it, and hten away as he waits for an answer. It's hard to tell a blush in the lighting, but Jim can feel his own.
He listens in nervous silence and he still can't quite believe what he's hearing. It just - it doesn't make sense that something would work out like this. That Zell would feel the same way, that everything he'd been doing meant exactly what Jim thought.
It doesn't take a second for Jim to react; one minute he's catching Zell's eyes darting down, and the next he's kissing Zell. It's just a light brush of lips because he's not really certain what to do once he gets there, but he's also hooking his free hand around the back of Zell's neck and keeping him close while he tries to figure it out. ]
[Brain is going to need a few seconds to reboot. Jim is kissing him. Jim, his good friend and crush, is kissing him. Everything feels like warm mush on the inside.
He rests his hands on Jim's waist as he tilts his head to return the kiss with a brief touch of his own. Then he's smiling really wide, before trying it again, but longer and firmer.
Does this mean Jim likes him too?
After another moment, laughter bubbles out of him as he slides his arms around Jim to keep him close. He really couldn't believe that Jim might actually felt the same or even wanted to kiss him. Giving kiss for every kiss Jim gives.]
[ When the first kiss breaks, as Zell laughs, Jim huffs and mumbles: ] I was really hoping that's what we were doing.
[ He doesn't feel like mush. He feels like there's a solar sail expanding in his chest, getting bigger and warmer by the second, until he's not sure how it even fits anymore as they kiss. He's not sure, but he thinks he gets it now. He's definitely getting why people do this, why he's had the all-powerful urge to do this. It's like that night in the basement but better.
Eventually, though, when it's expanded too much and his breathing is coming too fast, Jim breaks the kiss and - after the barest hesitation - leans his head on Zell's shoulders again. One of his hands is still on Zell's neck, tangled loosely in his hair, and the other wraps around in a loose gesture that's half hug and half you stay right there restraint.
He's smiling but quiet, at least until he realizes that they're pressed chest-to-chest and that's ... well, that's probably moving too fast, whatever this is they're doing. He disentangles reluctantly and settles back on the bed, eyes never leaving Zell. There's a question there - what now? - but Jim doesn't voice it. ]
[Jim was hoping- no, not just hoping, but really hoping this is what they were doing. A part of him wants to lift Jim up, while another wants to make sure this is real. He didn’t pass out on the couch and dreamed this all up, right?
Moving his hand up Jim’s back to play with his hair as he sighs contently. He’s okay with staying still and letting Jim stay on his shoulder for however long he needs. Zell being shirtless and the feeling of Jim’s shirt moving against his skin with every breath he takes is becoming a bit of an issue.
Seems like Jim might have had the same idea as the space between them returns and he’s back on the bed. He should go get his shirt back on, but there’s something more important to do than that. He pinches the back of his hand.] Ow. Okay, this is real. [He’s talking to himself more, but gives Jim an ecstatic smile.] That really just happened.
[He’s torn between getting his shirt and grabbing Jim. Screw it, Jim has pretty much felt him up when he was blind, and it’s not that big of a deal, right? He lets a leg dangle over the side as he sits sideways on the bed to face Jim. Reaching for his friend’s hand to slide his fingers in-between each of his.]
[ Jim watches in confusion while Zell pinches himself - at least until Zell announces what he'd been doing. Then Jim laughs helplessly, not really managing to hide his smile behind his hand even if he does try. ] I - yeah, it's real. Or we're hallucinating together and it doesn't matter.
[ Yeah, it would be just like Norfinbury to give them something this good and then yank it all away, but Jim's not thinking about that. He's too busy grinning at Zell, because he can't quite believe this is happening, either.
Though what this is, Jim still doesn't know. He just knows one thing as he threads his fingers between Zell's. ]
Yeah. Zell, I want -
[ It's not going to be anything like a normal romance. To be with you sounds silly when they already spend every waking moment together. Jim struggles with a word for what he's feeling and it comes back to the same thing, in the end. He regards Zell seriously for as long as he can without smiling and finishes, lamely: ] I want this so much.
[If they were hallucinating, then he'll just repeat it all when they wake up.
I want this so much. Man, it is like a dream. When talking to Tifa he really didn't think Jim could like him back. He thought he would confession, he get turned down, they laugh it off, and move on. You only live once or twice here.
Giving his goofy affectionate look as he squeezes Jim's hand.] Then I'm all yours, baby.
[ Now's probably the time to admit that he has no idea what this is, this thing that he wants. It might be a good plan to talk about boundaries, or telling people, or any of the million things he's not sure of.
But none of that's on his mind, not really. All he can see is the boy in front of him and all he can hear is baby. It should be insulting or gross or funny, but it just makes Jim grin so hard his face wants to split in half. He squeezes back, and this time he does give in to the urge to raise Zell's hand and kiss the back of his knuckles. ]
C'mere, sunshine.
[ They're too far apart. It has Jim letting go of Zell's hand to climb across him and settle half on the bed and half on Zell's thigh. He stops to study Zell's face and finds himself reaching easily to tuck Zell's overly-long bangs behind his ear.
He grins, quiet, pleased with himself, and then kisses upmost tip of Zell's tattoo. ]
[He’s too busy being caught up in the sensation of Jim’s lips against his hand. Zell is more than happy to oblige to his request. Once Jim is comfortable on him, he places a hand on the back of Jim’s neck to bury his fingers into his hair.]
Sunshine, huh? [It’s the second time Jim referred to him as that. He assumes it’s probably because of his hair or the flames on his jacket. Wrapping his other arm around Jim to keep him close.
Whoa. Wait] Huh? Awake this time? What do you mean by that? [He’s trying to think about any time that Jim might have ninja'd a kiss on him, if that’s what he means.]
[ Jim grins and ruffles Zell's hair, confirming where his thought process came from. Part of it, anyway; that Jim's thinking about his smile and the way Zell makes him feel are things that he doesn't know how to put into words just yet. It would probably get all tangled up and sound stupid anyway.
Stupid, like - well - ]
That night we fell asleep together on the couch, remember? I wasn't sure if you knew what happened.
[Making a happy little him at the ruffling as he helps himself to giving a kiss to the corner of Jim's mouth.
Thinking back of the night on the couch in the sports house and Jim leaving. He remembers feeling something and seeing Jim there. He thought the feeling was a dream. Jim did seem off, but Zell was too sleepy to think it over at the time.]
Wait. I didn't imagine that? [That makes him incredibly happy for some reason.] I thought my mind was messing with me after all of that crush conversation.
[ They've been all over each other since Jim came back, but the little kisses are a new intimacy. New enough that Jim starts, a little, and his heart goes off beating like crazy as he reminds himself that this is something they're doing. Something they can do.
But- ]
Wait, crush -? With who?
[ Jim probably should've realized Zell would have talked to someone about it - he's not like Jim, who was perfectly content to think about it until his head felt like it was going to explode. ]
You didn't imagine it. Just... after all that, I couldn't help it.
[He's testing boundaries a little bit, and just likes being able to do this. It's exciting and he didn't think he could ever do this.]
Yeah, I was trying to figure out why I kept thinking about you or wanted excuses to touch you. I thought it's because we lost you and all-[Gesturing around with a hand] All of the stuff we've been through. So, I ended up talking to Tifa about it that night.
[That night that Jim kissed his forehead. Placing his chin on Jim's shoulder.]
I'm glad I didn't imagine it. [He's giddy all over again. He laughs quietly and he buries his face against Jim.] You like me back. [He hopes it's true. It would explain why Jim kissed him. And it happened the night he got confirmation that Jim is special to him. A brand of special that was different from just being friends and partners.]
[ Jim's not sure where the boundaries are, either, but he knows Zell hasn't hit them yet. He also knows that Zell talking to Tifa about it makes him squirm a little, though, and he's buring his head in Zell's shoulder. ]
Is this - do people - how does this work on your world?
[ Help him figure out the boundaries. There's no one for him to watch and see how it's supposed to go, and he doesn't want to do it wrong. That thought in his head, he puts a little kiss on Zell's shoulder. ]
[He's making a happy hum at getting actual verbal confirmation. Giving a quick peck to Jim's neck.]
Lucky me.
[From his tone, he really does feel happy and fortunate! He doesn't even know what he did to catch Jim, but he did. He ponders on letting go at the squirming, but Jim isn't trying to regain his space. Casually playing with the hair on the back of Jim's neck as he thinks over what going out actually means.]
It's not that different then what we've already been doing.
[Between the line being blurred for a while and all of the touching. The more he thinks about it, the more he knows he wouldn't do that to just anyone.]
Usually people date to see if they want to be exclusive first. You go on outings to play games, see movies, eat together, or just have fun. [Considering where they were, some of it isn't really possible. They'll just have to get creative.]
You're not the one that's lucky. [ Jim's a mess, after all. Zell isn't, Zell is amazing, and when Jim slows down to think he's going to be angry all over again that Zell doesn't know that.
For now, though, he's listening intently to the explanation. It's nothing back home - and Jim's not even sure what a movie is - but it sounds like just doing things with a friend. A friend you want to court. A friend, who, impossibly, wants to court you back. ]
Huh.
[ He's going to file away that niggling question about exclusive and focus on the good, anyway. ]
Back home - if you were a girl - I'd go see your mom. Ask her if I could see you. If she liked me - [ and Jim's aware that is a long shot ] - she'd say yes, and I'd come over to your house. Bring you presents and stuff. [ Until they were ready to get married, but Jim's sitting on that for now. He's way too young to even be thinking about it though he is. ]
[He's not sure why Jim is the lucky one, but he's not going to argue it now. Lifting his head as he tucks Jim's hair behind his ear.
As far as he knows, they already are going to exclusive. He's just too dumb to realize he needs to vocalize that immediately.
Running his hands down Jim's back and tracing along his spine as he listens to how it's like in his world. It sounds pretty outdated and reminded him a lot of the stories of knights and sorceresses.]
I already know my Ma will like you. [And probably adopt him pretty quickly.] You're amazing. [Nuzzling against him as he lowers his voice.] And I'm totally into you.
Guess that's all that matters, huh? [ It is, in the end. No matter how uneasy he might feel about some things, they're totally outweighed by how much he likes Zell. How much Zell seems to like him. ] I don't make the best impression on [ anyone ] adults. But I'd try, for you.
[ He's aware, again, of how close they are. How far into his personal space he's let Zell again. It's strange, and maybe a little too much right now. He gives Zell a kiss on the lips before withdrawing, slowly, and stepping away to find Zell's shirt. ] Here. Let me?
Just be yourself. [He already thinks Jim is incredible as he is.]
If she can love me, then you'll have no problem. [Zell knows he probably wasn't easy to raise.
Returning the kiss just before he's out of range. For a moment he wonders what's up, but then Jim has his shirt. Oh. Yeah. That should probably go back on. Scooting to sit on the edge of the bed and face Jim. Holding out his arms to make it easier. Have at it, Jim.]
You're easy. [ To like. To love, maybe. Jim gives him an encouraging little smile as he slides the shirt back onto Zell. Dressing him is a little more intimate than Jim was expecting, enough that the giddy feeling is rising in his chest again. Did that ever go away? Was that why people were so stupid about this, sometimes? Once Zell's got his shirt back on, Jim tugs him up. ]
[It's making him a little self conscious as Jim's hands are on his top and pulling it down. He wants to keep those hands on him, maybe even pull him back on the bed and him. Instead, he'll get up with Jim's tugging. He can feel his heart leaping in his chest as Jim says date.]
We do have a candle going. [There is a pause.] Do you have something in mind? [They can go steal Zack's tablet to play a game, or mess around on one of their tablets together. Instead of suggesting any of that, Zell is going to snag Jim's hand to press a kiss against his knuckles.]
[ Jim's smile turns soft and shy again at the kiss of his knuckles, but it doesn't stop him from using Zell's grip on them to reel him in for a quick kiss on the lips. ] Nope, but we'll figure something out. We always do, right?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Like no-trespassing alarms and anything else that screams DANGER, JIM HAWKINS, though, in the end it just makes him go faster. That's why he's standing in the too-little space between Zell and the bed. It's easier when they're staring eye to eye, chest-to-chest to ask, quiet but stead: ]
Zell. What are we doing?
let me know if it's ok or if I should change it
Helping with the blue balls.Well, he did want Jim closer, but he feels his throat going dry at this. The obvious answer is to say they were checking Zell’s tattoos, but Zell knows from the expression Jim is wearing that he’s referring to something else.
It’s the we that’s throwing him. He knows that his quick pulse and feeling heat on his face and ears from Jim’s proximity is because of his crush.
He doesn’t know what Jim means by both of them.
Tifa told him to be honest and he doesn’t want to hide anything from Jim.]
I don’t know about what we’re doing, but I do know what’s going on with me. [And he’s pretty sure it’s obvious if Jim is asking that.]
I’m pretty sure I like you more than a friend. When I’m near you, my heart beats like crazy and it’s hard to breathe sometimes. All I want to do is hold your hand or- [ Kiss him. His attention drops from Jim’s eyes to his mouth. That probably wasn’t subtle at all.]
NEVER CHANGE
He listens in nervous silence and he still can't quite believe what he's hearing. It just - it doesn't make sense that something would work out like this. That Zell would feel the same way, that everything he'd been doing meant exactly what Jim thought.
It doesn't take a second for Jim to react; one minute he's catching Zell's eyes darting down, and the next he's kissing Zell. It's just a light brush of lips because he's not really certain what to do once he gets there, but he's also hooking his free hand around the back of Zell's neck and keeping him close while he tries to figure it out. ]
<3
He rests his hands on Jim's waist as he tilts his head to return the kiss with a brief touch of his own. Then he's smiling really wide, before trying it again, but longer and firmer.
Does this mean Jim likes him too?
After another moment, laughter bubbles out of him as he slides his arms around Jim to keep him close. He really couldn't believe that Jim might actually felt the same or even wanted to kiss him. Giving kiss for every kiss Jim gives.]
Re: <3
[ He doesn't feel like mush. He feels like there's a solar sail expanding in his chest, getting bigger and warmer by the second, until he's not sure how it even fits anymore as they kiss. He's not sure, but he thinks he gets it now. He's definitely getting why people do this, why he's had the all-powerful urge to do this. It's like that night in the basement but better.
Eventually, though, when it's expanded too much and his breathing is coming too fast, Jim breaks the kiss and - after the barest hesitation - leans his head on Zell's shoulders again. One of his hands is still on Zell's neck, tangled loosely in his hair, and the other wraps around in a loose gesture that's half hug and half you stay right there restraint.
He's smiling but quiet, at least until he realizes that they're pressed chest-to-chest and that's ... well, that's probably moving too fast, whatever this is they're doing. He disentangles reluctantly and settles back on the bed, eyes never leaving Zell. There's a question there - what now? - but Jim doesn't voice it. ]
no subject
[Jim was hoping- no, not just hoping, but really hoping this is what they were doing. A part of him wants to lift Jim up, while another wants to make sure this is real. He didn’t pass out on the couch and dreamed this all up, right?
Moving his hand up Jim’s back to play with his hair as he sighs contently. He’s okay with staying still and letting Jim stay on his shoulder for however long he needs. Zell being shirtless and the feeling of Jim’s shirt moving against his skin with every breath he takes is becoming a bit of an issue.
Seems like Jim might have had the same idea as the space between them returns and he’s back on the bed. He should go get his shirt back on, but there’s something more important to do than that. He pinches the back of his hand.] Ow. Okay, this is real. [He’s talking to himself more, but gives Jim an ecstatic smile.] That really just happened.
[He’s torn between getting his shirt and grabbing Jim. Screw it, Jim has pretty much felt him up when he was blind, and it’s not that big of a deal, right? He lets a leg dangle over the side as he sits sideways on the bed to face Jim. Reaching for his friend’s hand to slide his fingers in-between each of his.]
So, do you want this, Stars?
no subject
[ Yeah, it would be just like Norfinbury to give them something this good and then yank it all away, but Jim's not thinking about that. He's too busy grinning at Zell, because he can't quite believe this is happening, either.
Though what this is, Jim still doesn't know. He just knows one thing as he threads his fingers between Zell's. ]
Yeah. Zell, I want -
[ It's not going to be anything like a normal romance. To be with you sounds silly when they already spend every waking moment together. Jim struggles with a word for what he's feeling and it comes back to the same thing, in the end. He regards Zell seriously for as long as he can without smiling and finishes, lamely: ] I want this so much.
:D
I want this so much. Man, it is like a dream. When talking to Tifa he really didn't think Jim could like him back. He thought he would confession, he get turned down, they laugh it off, and move on. You only live once or twice here.
Giving his goofy affectionate look as he squeezes Jim's hand.] Then I'm all yours, baby.
i almost lost this tag it was awful
But none of that's on his mind, not really. All he can see is the boy in front of him and all he can hear is baby. It should be insulting or gross or funny, but it just makes Jim grin so hard his face wants to split in half. He squeezes back, and this time he does give in to the urge to raise Zell's hand and kiss the back of his knuckles. ]
C'mere, sunshine.
[ They're too far apart. It has Jim letting go of Zell's hand to climb across him and settle half on the bed and half on Zell's thigh. He stops to study Zell's face and finds himself reaching easily to tuck Zell's overly-long bangs behind his ear.
He grins, quiet, pleased with himself, and then kisses upmost tip of Zell's tattoo. ]
-Get to do that when you're awake this time.
no subject
Sunshine, huh? [It’s the second time Jim referred to him as that. He assumes it’s probably because of his hair or the flames on his jacket. Wrapping his other arm around Jim to keep him close.
Whoa. Wait] Huh? Awake this time? What do you mean by that? [He’s trying to think about any time that Jim might have ninja'd a kiss on him, if that’s what he means.]
no subject
[ Jim grins and ruffles Zell's hair, confirming where his thought process came from. Part of it, anyway; that Jim's thinking about his smile and the way Zell makes him feel are things that he doesn't know how to put into words just yet. It would probably get all tangled up and sound stupid anyway.
Stupid, like - well - ]
That night we fell asleep together on the couch, remember? I wasn't sure if you knew what happened.
no subject
Thinking back of the night on the couch in the sports house and Jim leaving. He remembers feeling something and seeing Jim there. He thought the feeling was a dream. Jim did seem off, but Zell was too sleepy to think it over at the time.]
Wait. I didn't imagine that? [That makes him incredibly happy for some reason.] I thought my mind was messing with me after all of that crush conversation.
no subject
But- ]
Wait, crush -? With who?
[ Jim probably should've realized Zell would have talked to someone about it - he's not like Jim, who was perfectly content to think about it until his head felt like it was going to explode. ]
You didn't imagine it. Just... after all that, I couldn't help it.
no subject
Yeah, I was trying to figure out why I kept thinking about you or wanted excuses to touch you. I thought it's because we lost you and all-[Gesturing around with a hand] All of the stuff we've been through. So, I ended up talking to Tifa about it that night.
[That night that Jim kissed his forehead. Placing his chin on Jim's shoulder.]
I'm glad I didn't imagine it. [He's giddy all over again. He laughs quietly and he buries his face against Jim.] You like me back. [He hopes it's true. It would explain why Jim kissed him. And it happened the night he got confirmation that Jim is special to him. A brand of special that was different from just being friends and partners.]
no subject
[ Jim's not sure where the boundaries are, either, but he knows Zell hasn't hit them yet. He also knows that Zell talking to Tifa about it makes him squirm a little, though, and he's buring his head in Zell's shoulder. ]
Is this - do people - how does this work on your world?
[ Help him figure out the boundaries. There's no one for him to watch and see how it's supposed to go, and he doesn't want to do it wrong. That thought in his head, he puts a little kiss on Zell's shoulder. ]
no subject
Lucky me.
[From his tone, he really does feel happy and fortunate! He doesn't even know what he did to catch Jim, but he did. He ponders on letting go at the squirming, but Jim isn't trying to regain his space. Casually playing with the hair on the back of Jim's neck as he thinks over what going out actually means.]
It's not that different then what we've already been doing.
[Between the line being blurred for a while and all of the touching. The more he thinks about it, the more he knows he wouldn't do that to just anyone.]
Usually people date to see if they want to be exclusive first. You go on outings to play games, see movies, eat together, or just have fun. [Considering where they were, some of it isn't really possible. They'll just have to get creative.]
today's singular tag roulette winner
For now, though, he's listening intently to the explanation. It's nothing back home - and Jim's not even sure what a movie is - but it sounds like just doing things with a friend. A friend you want to court. A friend, who, impossibly, wants to court you back. ]
Huh.
[ He's going to file away that niggling question about exclusive and focus on the good, anyway. ]
Back home - if you were a girl - I'd go see your mom. Ask her if I could see you. If she liked me - [ and Jim's aware that is a long shot ] - she'd say yes, and I'd come over to your house. Bring you presents and stuff. [ Until they were ready to get married, but Jim's sitting on that for now. He's way too young to even be thinking about it though he is. ]
<3
As far as he knows, they already are going to exclusive. He's just too dumb to realize he needs to vocalize that immediately.
Running his hands down Jim's back and tracing along his spine as he listens to how it's like in his world. It sounds pretty outdated and reminded him a lot of the stories of knights and sorceresses.]
I already know my Ma will like you. [And probably adopt him pretty quickly.] You're amazing. [Nuzzling against him as he lowers his voice.] And I'm totally into you.
no subject
[ He's aware, again, of how close they are. How far into his personal space he's let Zell again. It's strange, and maybe a little too much right now. He gives Zell a kiss on the lips before withdrawing, slowly, and stepping away to find Zell's shirt. ] Here. Let me?
no subject
Just be yourself. [He already thinks Jim is incredible as he is.]
If she can love me, then you'll have no problem. [Zell knows he probably wasn't easy to raise.
Returning the kiss just before he's out of range. For a moment he wonders what's up, but then Jim has his shirt. Oh. Yeah. That should probably go back on. Scooting to sit on the edge of the bed and face Jim. Holding out his arms to make it easier. Have at it, Jim.]
no subject
We should go do something. C'mon. A … date?
no subject
We do have a candle going. [There is a pause.] Do you have something in mind? [They can go steal Zack's tablet to play a game, or mess around on one of their tablets together. Instead of suggesting any of that, Zell is going to snag Jim's hand to press a kiss against his knuckles.]
no subject