James Pleiades Hawkins!! (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rattlingthestars) wrote2017-02-07 12:46 am
rattlingthestars) wrote2017-02-07 12:46 am
IC Inbox II
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'S Jim. Leave a message.
previous inbox
'S Jim. Leave a message.
That's...
[ Not really what he has in mind at the moment. ]
I'm not much of a reader. Pretty sure I'll have other priorities first, Stars.
[ Like hugging him and never letting go. Or sitting on him to make sure he doesn't vanish again...
Just as he was getting better about not waking up to check if Jim is alive. He already knows he may start checking to be sure Jim hasn't vanished on him again. All of that is in the future though. Right now, he has Jim on the other side of his tablet's screen. ]
We'll worry about that when we see each other.
[ Not really what he has in mind at the moment. ]
I'm not much of a reader. Pretty sure I'll have other priorities first, Stars.
[ Like hugging him and never letting go. Or sitting on him to make sure he doesn't vanish again...
Just as he was getting better about not waking up to check if Jim is alive. He already knows he may start checking to be sure Jim hasn't vanished on him again. All of that is in the future though. Right now, he has Jim on the other side of his tablet's screen. ]
We'll worry about that when we see each other.
[ The longer he holds his hand, the more he wants to push further. To see just how much contact Jim would let him get away with. Only the dizziness and light coppery smell in his nose is keeping him from latching on. He doesn't want Jim to blame himself. ]
It's okay, Stars. I would have done the same in your position. [ A pause as he squeezes his hand. ]
I would have done it for you.
[ Killed his monsters for the lights to make sure Jim has a future. ]
It's okay, Stars. I would have done the same in your position. [ A pause as he squeezes his hand. ]
I would have done it for you.
[ Killed his monsters for the lights to make sure Jim has a future. ]
[ Maybe Jim's just stuck on how upset Kunsel was with him, and how miserable Zell is, and how terrible he feels right now. ]
-Alright. Sorry.
[ For ruining the moment, not leaving. He's still not sorry for that, exactly. ]
What will you do then?
-Alright. Sorry.
[ For ruining the moment, not leaving. He's still not sorry for that, exactly. ]
What will you do then?
[ There's no hesitation as what he wants comes easily to mind. ]
Hold you tight and not let go for a long time.
[ At least it's not completely ruined. ]
Hold you tight and not let go for a long time.
[ At least it's not completely ruined. ]
[ Jim wants to see his face so badly, to seek out the truth in that. He's still not sure if what he did was right.
He can't, though, not directly, so he reaches up a hand that hovers an inch from Zell's face. He's not adding another point of contact, but he's there. ]
-I know you would have.
[ He's quit for a moment. ]
This is so unfair.
He can't, though, not directly, so he reaches up a hand that hovers an inch from Zell's face. He's not adding another point of contact, but he's there. ]
-I know you would have.
[ He's quit for a moment. ]
This is so unfair.
[ Oh. ]
I... think I can handle that.
[ Well, that or he'll cry about it again. ]
I... think I can handle that.
[ Well, that or he'll cry about it again. ]
[ He lets go of Jim's hand, and waits for a moment for everything to stop feeling like it's spinning. Then he nuzzles against the outstretched hand. Pressing a kiss against his palm. ]
You can touch me. It doesn't hurt. [ Just makes him feel sick, but it's worth it. ]
It'll be better soon. Maybe in the morning or the next day, but it'll be soon. So, stay with me.
[ Leaning back again to make sure Jim doesn't feel bad. ]
Stay with me.
You can touch me. It doesn't hurt. [ Just makes him feel sick, but it's worth it. ]
It'll be better soon. Maybe in the morning or the next day, but it'll be soon. So, stay with me.
[ Leaning back again to make sure Jim doesn't feel bad. ]
Stay with me.
Awesome. Don't know what I would do if you said no.
[ Maybe settle on holding his hand. ]
Whatever happens can wait for when it can happen.
[ Maybe settle on holding his hand. ]
Whatever happens can wait for when it can happen.
I'm not going to say no.
[ Jim wants it as badly as Zell does. ]
Just promise me you're going to wait until it doesn't hurt you anymore.
[ Jim wants it as badly as Zell does. ]
Just promise me you're going to wait until it doesn't hurt you anymore.
Jim... [ Rubbing the back of his head. ] I can't promise that. I can promise I'll try for you, but I can't promise I won't. I miss you a whole hell of a lot.
[ Jim passes his hand over Zell's lips, rests his thumb there as he caresses his cheek. He needs to stop, soon, but he can't seem to -
Zell makes the decision for them, and he sighs a tiny sign of relief. ]
I am. I'm not leaving again, not if I can stay.
[ Which isn't a promise of forever, exactly, but it's the best Jim can do. He curls in on himself at his own end of the bed, knees tucked under chin, and stares unseeing at the far wall. ]
Do you ... is your guitar here?
Zell makes the decision for them, and he sighs a tiny sign of relief. ]
I am. I'm not leaving again, not if I can stay.
[ Which isn't a promise of forever, exactly, but it's the best Jim can do. He curls in on himself at his own end of the bed, knees tucked under chin, and stares unseeing at the far wall. ]
Do you ... is your guitar here?
[ Zell figures that as good as he'll get. Much like he couldn't promise not to touch Jim, Jim can't promise he won't vanish. What if he's taken or has to leave to return to normal? He feels a piercing coldness inside as he worries for a moment that Jim might not be there when he closes his eyes.
He has regret over breaking the contact already. Snagging the blanket again to make sure it's adjusted on Jim as he curls in on himself. Leaning close once more to press a kiss against his forehead. ]
Yeah. Yeah I do have it.
[ Zell stalls in front of Jim for a bit longer. A part of him wonders how much has changed on his boyfriend. He still wants to just wrap the other up in his arms and hold on tight. His fingers tremble a bit as he lets go to grab his guitar. ]
Have any requests?
He has regret over breaking the contact already. Snagging the blanket again to make sure it's adjusted on Jim as he curls in on himself. Leaning close once more to press a kiss against his forehead. ]
Yeah. Yeah I do have it.
[ Zell stalls in front of Jim for a bit longer. A part of him wonders how much has changed on his boyfriend. He still wants to just wrap the other up in his arms and hold on tight. His fingers tremble a bit as he lets go to grab his guitar. ]
Have any requests?
[ Zell stayed up all night to watch Jim sleep. At first, his boyfriend stayed at the very edge of the bed, but by morning he was close to Zell. The dizziness from his proximity certainly helped staving off sleep. Moving to brush his fingers through Jim’s hair every so often to remember he’s still warm. That he’s still Jim. Even with the additional appendages on his back and missing his eyes, he was still Jim.
Mochi stirring from his sleeping place with Morph told Zell that it’s almost time to start the day. Moving his hand to Jim’s back to give it a rub and rouse him from his sleep. ]
Morning, Stars.
[ Before he can do anything more, like kiss him, there’s a sharp pinch in his arm. ]
Mochi stirring from his sleeping place with Morph told Zell that it’s almost time to start the day. Moving his hand to Jim’s back to give it a rub and rouse him from his sleep. ]
Morning, Stars.
[ Before he can do anything more, like kiss him, there’s a sharp pinch in his arm. ]
[ Jim is floating, only half awake when Zell touches him. His dreams were a troubled mess of blood and sails, but they weren't bad enough to wake him.
It's the pinch to the arm that's done that. He's felt that before, a handful of times since they came to Norfinbury, and he can guess what it means.
It's almost, but not quite, a relief when the dull ache of the sail at his back turns into agony. He can't scream or writhe, he can't call out to Zell, but he can thank the universe when he feels the stars falling from his eyes. ]
It's the pinch to the arm that's done that. He's felt that before, a handful of times since they came to Norfinbury, and he can guess what it means.
It's almost, but not quite, a relief when the dull ache of the sail at his back turns into agony. He can't scream or writhe, he can't call out to Zell, but he can thank the universe when he feels the stars falling from his eyes. ]
[ The paralysis sets in immediately, as Zell slumps over. He can feel more contact with Jim, but the dizziness and everything associated with touching the monsters slowly dissipates. He can see the wings as they change.
He wants to desperately call Jim's name. To hold him. He tries to move but can't. It's a different kin of agony being so close and being unable to do anything to help. He can't do anything if they decide to take him.
Fifteen long minutes of being unable to do anything. ]
He wants to desperately call Jim's name. To hold him. He tries to move but can't. It's a different kin of agony being so close and being unable to do anything to help. He can't do anything if they decide to take him.
Fifteen long minutes of being unable to do anything. ]
[ Fifteen minutes that feel like hours, for all the agony Jim's in. At one point he thinks he stops breathing - it hurts too much - until finally whatever's holding them releases his body and he gasps, taking in deep lungfuls of air. Too much; he's hyperventilating, or maybe just panicking, and he knows he should do what Zell taught him but he can't.
Not yet. ]
Not yet. ]
[ And then they are free and he immediately spings back up. Relief floods him as Jim is still there, and is actually normal. Then he realizes he might be having a panic attack. Moving to put his hands on his back to rub it in soothing motions. ]
Stars. Hey, Stars. It's okay. Try to breathe. [ A part of him wants to just gather him up, but he needs him breathing normal first. ]
Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. [ He keeps his voice low. ]
Stars. Hey, Stars. It's okay. Try to breathe. [ A part of him wants to just gather him up, but he needs him breathing normal first. ]
Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. [ He keeps his voice low. ]
[ Stars.
Jim falls into the breathing pattern with Zell before he can even understand what he's saying. It's slow, but eventually he reaches something like calm and opens his eyes. They're normal again, bright blue behind the tears that are holding there, but his back is damp with blood. ]
Zell?
[ He reaches around, feeling where Zell felt - it's gone. ]
I'm... it's fixed, isn't it? You're not sick anymore?
Jim falls into the breathing pattern with Zell before he can even understand what he's saying. It's slow, but eventually he reaches something like calm and opens his eyes. They're normal again, bright blue behind the tears that are holding there, but his back is damp with blood. ]
Zell?
[ He reaches around, feeling where Zell felt - it's gone. ]
I'm... it's fixed, isn't it? You're not sick anymore?
[ The blood is concerning and he wonders just how painful was it for Jim. He can hear his name and he looks to Jim's face to beam a soft smile. ]
Hey, beautiful.
[ Fingers feeling along where the wings used to be to try to feel anything wrong. Then he shrugs off his coat and pulls of his shirt. Scrunching it up to rub the blood off gently. ]
You're fixed. I don't feel dizzy any more.
Hey, beautiful.
[ Fingers feeling along where the wings used to be to try to feel anything wrong. Then he shrugs off his coat and pulls of his shirt. Scrunching it up to rub the blood off gently. ]
You're fixed. I don't feel dizzy any more.
[ Jim makes a low, frustrated noise that's a lot closer to a snarl than he intended. ]
I can't catch you if you keep hurting yourself.
I can't catch you if you keep hurting yourself.
[ Jim pictures tilting up, changing it to a kiss on the lips, but he doesn't move. Instead he sniffs and draws his blanket even closer as he settles in on the bed. ]
Something from your world.
[ Jim's heard a few by now, but he'll never get tired of the alien music his boyfriend can make. ]
Something from your world.
[ Jim's heard a few by now, but he'll never get tired of the alien music his boyfriend can make. ]
[ He making a sound in turn that's confused with an edge of something else. ]
Jim. It didn't hurt. It just made me dizzy. Besides, it's up to me what's worth it. You'll always be worth it to me.
[ His voice gets more emotional as he talks. ]
Jim. It didn't hurt. It just made me dizzy. Besides, it's up to me what's worth it. You'll always be worth it to me.
[ His voice gets more emotional as he talks. ]
You got it, Stars.
[ It makes a noise as he picks it up. Zell then settles on the other end of the bed. ]
You can lay down. The bed is big enough.
[ He won't push it further than that. Hitting a few warm up chords to make sure it sounds right, before he starts playing. It's something that is slow and hopefully soothing. ]
[ It makes a noise as he picks it up. Zell then settles on the other end of the bed. ]
You can lay down. The bed is big enough.
[ He won't push it further than that. Hitting a few warm up chords to make sure it sounds right, before he starts playing. It's something that is slow and hopefully soothing. ]
[ Jim makes an unhappy noise as he settles. He lays down, but he stays curled as best he can. He doesn't want to risk his usual octopus antics with Zell nearby.
He doesn't think he'll be able to sleep like this, but the music is finally soothing the nerves that have been on edge for days, and Zell is close, and he did what he had to.
He falls asleep before the end of the first song. ]
He doesn't think he'll be able to sleep like this, but the music is finally soothing the nerves that have been on edge for days, and Zell is close, and he did what he had to.
He falls asleep before the end of the first song. ]
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