rattlingthestars | IC Inbox II

[ The touch to the face startles Jim into looking up and meeting Zell's eyes. There's still an edge of fear there, though it's retreating.

Can. Can I hug you now?

Zell's hesitating and Jim can't blame him. Not after Jim's performance this afternoon, and just now. He doesn't give Zell permission.

He throws himself into his boyfriend's arms instead, and hugs like he's never going to let go, even though he's splashed a little soda down Zell's back. ]

[ He'll just have to take off his shirt afterwards. He manages to catch him without falling over backwards. Zell is hesitant thanks to Jim being startled, but eventually he places his hands on Jim's back. Giving him a squeeze as he nuzzles against the side of his face. Breathing out a shuddering breath as it clicks in his boyfriend really is in one piece and okay. Not daring to speak almost afraid of ruining it, while he keeps holding on until Jim says something. ]

[ Jim starts to. He wants to. He suck in a breath, but sounds wet even to his own ears, and his mind goes blank. He buries his face back in Zell's shoulder, and holds tighter. He's okay, they're all okay, it was a close call but no one is hurt.

The breathing exercises worked too. He's no longer on the edge of a panic attack or a flashback or whatever that was. Jim knows that he's here with Zell and the monster is safely locked outside. But... somehow, the longer he holds on, the harder it is to keep himself together. ]

Just... [ He doesn't really know how to finish that. He tries: ] Just give me a second.

[ He's pressing a kiss against the side of Jim's head. ]

We have all the time we want. [ Nuzzling against him as he strokes Jim's back slowly. ] All the time we need. Take as long as you want. I won't move. [ And he means it. If it means holding the other two up, then that's fine. He'll deal with it later. This comes first. Pressing his lips against him every so often as they stand there. ]

[ It starts out slow, a few tears on Zell's jacket, until it's a silent flood, and then a noisy one. Jim hates the sounds and muffles it as much as he can in Zell's jacket, but he can't really escape them. Can't escape knowing that Zell hears them too.

He keeps trying to answer, but the words won't form. Every time he tries, the image of that thing with half of Silver attached swims in his vision and he's off again. ]

Edited 2017-03-04 07:44 (UTC)

[ Shifting a bit to pull Jim flushed against him. Wrapping his arms tightly around him as he buries his face against him. ]

I'm here, Stars. [ Repeating it quietly like a spell. Once it seems like Jim is starting all over again, Zell glances behind him for a moment to check how far the mattress was. Careful not to break Jim's hold on him as he shifts his arms under his boyfriend's to get his arms in place. Then he's going to pick Jim up and back up until he feels the mattress. Sitting down as he moves to pull Jim in, hoping his boyfriend has already figured out what was going on as he puts him in his lap. ]

[ Being picked up slows Jim's tears, first out of shock and then out of embarrassment. He feels like a child, being comforted and carried around this way, but it's something he needs so badly that he can't reject it.

He buries his face in Zell's chest and wraps his arms around to cling. While he still can't seem to speak, the flow of tears seems to have ebbed for now. ]

Edited 2017-03-15 04:58 (UTC)

[ If Jim were to ask, Zell would talk about how much he just loves having him in his arms. Rubbing his face against the top of his head. Hands moving against to rub shapes and patterns against Jim's back to help him.

Once it feels like the tears are slowing, maybe even stopping, he slides his hand up to rest on the back of his head. Massaging his scalp. ]

Hey. [ He says the greeting softly. ]

Hey.

[ Jim's voice is rough, after all that. He leans back into Zell's hands and closes his eyes, wondering what now. Should he play it off? Change the subject? Pretend it never even happened? He doesn't think Zell's going to accept any of that.

Partners. ]

I don't really know what just happened.

[ Jim leaning back gives him a chance to nuzzle what he can get of his boyfriend's face. Pressing feather light kisses against the corner of his eyes. ]

Your body probably decided it couldn't wait any more. [ Giving him another squeeze as he brushes his lips against Jim's forehead. ] You were being chased by a monster, Stars. [ A monster that looked like Silver. A monster that almost took Jim away from him. ]

We beat it. [ The objection's weak; it's hard to sound too strong in the face of that kind of affection, as much as Jim wants to. ] We beat it, it's not even the first time.

[ So why now? ]

You beat it. But you still risked your life to do it, Stars. [ The kisses move down the side of his face. ]

That on top of all the other shit and it looking like Silver... I would have been crying a lot sooner in your place. [ He's hoping Jim understands that there is nothing wrong with it. That he's the last person who would judge or anything. ]

And now you're safe. We're safe thanks to you. It's done and you're here. [ They finally have a moment together with Jim actually awake. ]

Safe.

[ Jim repeats it, more to himself than to Zell. Of course they're safe, but -

But Zell understands, apparently. Jim doesn't quite buy that Zell would be crying - he knows how hard his boyfriend tries not to do that - but the reassurance is there all the same. ]

You noticed too, huh? What it looked like?

[ It wasn't bleeding out black stuff like the first time, but it was definitely recognizable as the old cyborg. Taking a moment to nuzzle against the side of Jim's face as he mumbles a confirmation that he did notice. Then he pulls his head back to look at Jim. ]

Is that why you took him on all on your own? Because it looked like Silver?

Edited 2017-04-01 21:22 (UTC)

Kind of.

[ Jim shrugs without meeting Zell's eyes. ]

Whatever it was came out of my head, right? So I created it. That meant it was my job to take care of it.

[ He huffs out through his nose. ]

Anyway, there wasn't really time to make a plan. I didn't really stop to think much.

[ Kind of? He does notice the lack of eye contact. Sighing as he nuzzles against Jim hair. ]

I was scared, you know.

[ It's his job to take care of it because they ganked it from his head, huh? ]

What if it came out of my head? [ Well, he has seen Silver. A fake twisted version of it, but he means in general. A monster popping up from his world or of people he knows. ]

[ Jim flinches. ]

Didn't mean to.

[ Scare Zell, he means. ]

It's - if it'd been you. I wouldn't have wanted you to do what you did, but I would've understood.

[ He leans back to make sure to meet his eyes. ]

I understand. I do understand why you did it.

[ It also sounds like Jim gets it too. That Zell didn't want him to rush off alone, but... ]

I trust you. I knew you would do your best to get back.

[ Even if it felt like he almost lost Jim a couple of times there, he still knew he would make it back. ]

[ Jim meets his eyes, but then slumps in relief, his forehead resting on Zell's shoulder. ]

I did. It's okay now.

[ Except that's still Silver, out there. ]

It's okay.

[ Loosening his hold to rub circles into Jim's back again. Just massaging whatever lumps and knots he can feel there. ]

Yeah, it's okay.

[ For now. They don't even know how often this will repeat. He's pretty fed up with it, but freaking out or worrying about what might happen is exhausting.

Making a sound as he nuzzles against Jim. It really drives home the point that really for sure they only have today and right now. It reminds him of why he even set up all of this away from prying eyes.

And he's starting to feel sticky from the soda. ]

Feeling better, Stars?

[ Jim thinks about it, and to his surprise the answer is - ]

Yeah. Think I am.

[ His eyes are a little swollen and itchy, and there's still a thickness to his voice, but his chest feels lighter than it has in days and he can relax into this time he gets to spend with Zell. ]

Is that weird?

[ Pressing his lips against his hair as he smiles. ]

I don't think it's weird.

[ It just means there really was a lot sitting inside of him.

Snagging Jim's left hand to bring it up to his mouth. Just going to press a kiss against each finger. ]

You should enjoy what's left of your drink.

[ There is a fondness creeping into his voice. ]

[ As usual when something involves Zell's mouth, Jim's looking stunned by the time he gets the suggestion. ]

My -?

[ Oh! The drink. He jerks back, looking around. ]

- It got all over you, didn't it?

[ He couldn't help but crack a grin at that as he snickers quietly. ]

Not all over. Only my back feels sticky.

[ Keeping a hand on Jim's waist to keep him there longer as he presses a kiss on a finger that was believed to have a link directly to the heart. ]

I should have more. Snagged a bunch from the vending machines.

Cool.

[ Jim's voice is soft as Zell kisses his hand, but it takes on just a little teasing of its own. ]

Careful or we'll have to tell Doctor Watson you haven't been brushing your teeth.

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lame tag is lame <3

ur face is not lame

does he get a reward for being patient

he gets a crappy tag /o\

manhandling

orz sorry this is dumb

<3 <3 <3

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I need a I BELEIVE IN YOU icon or something

photoshops kamina glasses on zell

instead of drilling things it'll be screwing ;D

it ain't the heavens he'll be piercing i'll tell you that

;D

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