rattlingthestars | IC Inbox II

You can wait.

[ Jim knows it's hard. Impossible, maybe, for Zell. ]

You can be you, when I - when I'm me again. You can give me something to come back to.

[ He wants to argue, but he knows Jim is right. That's all he can really do. That's all he's been able to do. Feeling the tears run down his face as he hugs tablet close. ]

Yeah. Yeah, I can wait.

[ Swallowing back the emotions as he looks back towards the rows of substitute pews and the abstract eye symbol with blood. ]

I'll try to wait.

[ For a moment, he wonders how much of him would be left for Jim when he returns to normal.

It's only been a couple of days. This thing only has a couple more days left, right? ]

I need you to wait.

[ It's not a suggestion, or a platitude. Jim almost sounds like he's begging, now, and that same refrain is rasping between his every breath. Alone, abandoned, alone, alone, worthless - ]

Need you to be there - the same -

[ He needs him to wait. He needs him to be there and the same. A part of him wants to yell about how it's unfair. How Zell needed Jim not to take off in the first place. Not in the way he did. Leaving him alone and very confused. That a stretch of time elapsed and Jim still didn't come back. That Jim lied and took off like that...

What about what Zell needs or wants? What about keeping promises or even trying to communicate?

He couldn't hide the sob that did manage to come out. Can't hide the sound of him hitting the door one last time.

Zell is quiet for a bit. Quiet, as he holds his breath until the emotions shaking his core and body calm down. Gasping for air once he needs to breathe and then nodding at the tablet, despite the other being unable to see him. ]

Yeah. [ His voice is raw. ] Yeah, I'll be the same. I'll wait however long it takes.

[ Jim thought he was helping. He thought he could give Zell something to hold on to, something to work toward, something that might make him feel less helpless in the midst of this horrible situation.

But maybe he's not thinking of Zell at all. It's hard to, through the pain and the panic that this is permanent. His body's changed into something Zell could never love, his mind is overtaken by a force he can't explain, and nothing is right. He just wants one thing - one person to be right. ]

I don't know how much longer I'll be able to talk.

[ Zell's right is crumbling. Looking at the screen of the tablet to try to glean what he could. To try to pick out his boyfriend in the darkness. Tracing out his form as best as he could. ]

It's. It's okay. I have- [ Swallowing as he looks to the patchwork creature lingering by. Then looking beyond him to the stairs he came down. ]

Morph and Mochi are looking after me.

[ But there is a longing in his voice. A loneliness there that's making it hard to keep things together. They aren't the ones he want beside him. ]

Love you, Stars. You know...[ His voice breaks there. ]

Morph...

[ It stirs a memory in Jim, one he's mostly buried along with his love for Silver. Morphie, I've got a job for ye...

Jim clears his throat to talk through the tears. ]

Can I. Can you put him on, for a second?

[ Standing up shakily as he tries to nod. ]

Of course you can. It might take a few to get to him.

[ Realizing with a twist of his gut that both animals are probably super worried after he took off down the stairs like that. Breezing past the anomaly and actively ignoring him as he heads back up the stairs, albeit slowly.

Talking is hard. Hard without giving away just how much this hurts on the inside. Humming softly to give him something to focus on. The song should be familiar, because it's something Jim taught him.

Morph meets him three-fourths of the way up, having likely flown down to check on Zell. ]

Here he is.

[ Jim gets why Silver did what he did with Morph, now. It's easier. He's learning all kinds of things about himself, now.

He draws a shaky breath and gentles his voice, making sure it's not upset and won't send Morph panicking. ]

Hey, buddy. I've got a job for you.

[ He hesitates, wanting so badly to see Zell's face and know what he thinks. ]

I - I need you to look out for Zell. Stand guard, okay? Don't leave him alone. I love him, more than anything, and... I need you to take care of him.

[ He sees Morph scooting in close to the screen as Jim's voice comes clearly across. Looks like the guy is pretty eager to be helpful. Zell knows that feeling. Zell closes his eyes and pictures Jim's expression as he talks to Morph. He can almost see it...

And then Jim's next set of words causes him to look up again. He can see Morph looking at him with determination. Covering his mouth as he starts to cry again, but this time because he knows he's loved. This time because Jim is making sure he's taken care of in the only way he can. Wiping away the tears as he tries to smile at the pink blob who is probably communicating her understands in his own way. A new way without his transformation abilities.

Sorry Jim, Zell can't word at the moment. ]

[ Jim understands the babbling all the same. He knows it won't do much - Morph is even more defenseless in Norfinbury than back home - but maybe it will be some kind of comfort to Zell to have someone close by. It had certainly helped Jim, in the hours after Silver left for the last time.

He doesn't know what to say after that, but maybe he doesn't have to. From the change in distance and tone of Morph's chattering, he thinks the blob has gone to cuddle up to Zell. ]

[ Reaching up to stroke the critter as he leans into the cuddle. It's not the same, but it's better than nothing. It does warm his heart seeing Morph try so hard. Rubbing away tears with the back of his hand before he tries to talk. ]

Thanks, Stars. You know...you're still my light here.

[ He needs Jim to know that. That even though he may look different, be different, he still finds a way to brighten his days up. That's still Jim to him. ]

[ Morph chitters comfortingly and pats Zell's hair, at least.

Jim's quiet for a long time, unsure what to say to that. Not when he's left Zell alone and made him cry. ]

-I'll be back. I promise.

[ He lets out a sound that sounds like he's struggling. After a moment or two longer he finally responds. ]

Yeah, Stars. I know you will.

[ Even if he doesn't come back, Zell will find a way to get him back. Looking at the matching ring on his finger and then at Morph. ]

Stay on with me?

[ Jim's not sure what to say, at first. He wants Zell, wants to listen to him and be as close to him as he can be. But he also wants to retreat, lick his own wounds until he can come back better and less horrifying.

But Zell is asking, and Jim's already put him through so much. ]

-Okay. I'm here. I'll listen out while you sleep.

Can send you a dick pic too if you want

[ It does make him better. Petting Morph again as he trudges up the steps with the tablet. ]

Thanks, Stars. It... it means a lot.

[ Having a direct link to Jim through the tablet is reassuring. ]

Mm.

[ And then, for lack of any better way to comfort Zell into sleeping, Jim starts to hum a song Zell already knows. ]

IC Inbox II

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I dont have the right icon for this

everything is terrible forever~

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probably a wrap on this one too \o/