rattlingthestars | IC Inbox II

[ Tracing against the screen of the tablet. ]

It's not bad. It looks like there are stars on your face.

[ He's trying to reassure Jim he doesn't look grotesque ~~yet~~ ]

You know the pic you sent me? It's my wallpaper now.

[ Oh, that hurts. Like Zell punched him in the chest. It catches him so off guard that he's forced to admit: ]

I think the only reason I'm not a complete wreck is because everything is so bad I can't focus on one thing.

[ He can feel something inside of him drop at that. ]

I- I'm sorry Stars. [ Wincing as he says the nickname. It seems cruel to say it now. ]

Remember when we were split up before?

When everyone was scattered?

[ Or when Jim had died? ]

When everyone was scattered.

[ It didn't even occur to him to specify which time, but thankfully Jim could figure it out. ]

At that time, I focused on you. I replayed old messages, found stuff on the network with you in it...you know that kind of stuff.

[ If it wasn't such a shitty time, it might sound lame or even a little embarrassing. ]

Did it make it easier?

[ Jim thinks it might've just hurt more, but back then he'd been focused on moving as quick as he could. Now, when he's stuck in one place and waiting for whatever happens next... ]

It reminded me what I had waiting for me. I know this is different, Stars, but I think maybe focus on what's waiting for you. Focusing on what you want to work towards might help. [ Pausing as he rubs the ring on his finger. ] I will wait for you. I'll try to fix this, but I will also wait for you. However long it takes, Stars. I love you.

I love you too.

[ Focusing on what's waiting for him also means focusing on what he'd left behind. Morph and Mochi, the brother that's no longer responding and the one he'd argued with, and most of all Zell, and the promise they'd made and Jim had broken. ]

You know that, don't you?

Yeah. [ Swallowing as he runs his fingers through his own hair. ] I know you do. That's why you left...

[ And he's not sure if it's right or good still. It's complicated, but it's not the time to worry about it. ]

Yeah. It is.

[ If he were just a little bit more selfish, he'd have gone back to Zell and curled up with him, let everyone stay ignorant of the consequences a little longer. ]

You can read me the riot act when I get back. Promise to sit still for it.

That's...

[ Not really what he has in mind at the moment. ]

I'm not much of a reader. Pretty sure I'll have other priorities first, Stars.

[ Like hugging him and never letting go. Or sitting on him to make sure he doesn't vanish again...

Just as he was getting better about not waking up to check if Jim is alive. He already knows he may start checking to be sure Jim hasn't vanished on him again. All of that is in the future though. Right now, he has Jim on the other side of his tablet's screen. ]

We'll worry about that when we see each other.

[ Maybe Jim's just stuck on how upset Kunsel was with him, and how miserable Zell is, and how terrible he feels right now. ]

-Alright. Sorry.

[ For ruining the moment, not leaving. He's still not sorry for that, exactly. ]

What will you do then?

Tap it

[ There's no hesitation as what he wants comes easily to mind. ]

Hold you tight and not let go for a long time.

[ At least it's not completely ruined. ]

[ Oh. ]

I... think I can handle that.

[ Well, that or he'll cry about it again. ]

Awesome. Don't know what I would do if you said no.

[ Maybe settle on holding his hand. ]

Whatever happens can wait for when it can happen.

I'm not going to say no.

[ Jim wants it as badly as Zell does. ]

Just promise me you're going to wait until it doesn't hurt you anymore.

Jim... [ Rubbing the back of his head. ] I can't promise that. I can promise I'll try for you, but I can't promise I won't. I miss you a whole hell of a lot.

[ Jim makes a low, frustrated noise that's a lot closer to a snarl than he intended. ]

I can't catch you if you keep hurting yourself.

[ He making a sound in turn that's confused with an edge of something else. ]

Jim. It didn't hurt. It just made me dizzy. Besides, it's up to me what's worth it. You'll always be worth it to me.

[ His voice gets more emotional as he talks. ]

It made you bleed.

[ Zell's not the only one sounding emotional. ]

It could've made you pass out.

I wouldn't have.

[ Zell knows his limits. He wants to ask if Jim could just trust his judgement. If they could have talked about it. But maybe he's right. Maybe it's a talk that needs to wait for them to be face to face after he enjoys being around him. ]

Don't worry about what could have happened. Just come back to me when you can.

Yeah.

[ Jim will worry about it, it's the whole reason he's doing this, but he can let it go for now. ]

As soon as I can. Love you.

Love you too, Stars.

[ Does he need to add in the whole even now? He's hoping it's obvious since he wants to keep Jim on the line. Going the rest of the way up stairs to go to one of the rooms. ]

Taking any requests?

Requests?

[ Jim sounds a little thrown, even thought the sadness. ]

IC Inbox II

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there is a bad pick up line to be had here

:D

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