rattlingthestars | IC Inbox II

[ It's nice like this, even if he's still in pants while in the water. Everything is warm, Jim is here, and for once he feels safe. Like nothing can his boyfriend away. That nothing can get them while they are inside the confines of the tub.

He feels the tension melting away as he rubs and works at every bump and tense spot he feels.

After time passes, he moves his hands from Jim's back to his sides. To pull him closer to him. Planting another kiss against his shoulder before resting against him. ]

It's almost like being at the Inn again.

[ Dropping his hand into the water and then lifting it up to watch the droplets fall. ]

I can almost go to sleep like this.

Heh.

[ The inn at the bathtub was a little different, but it's a good memory all the same. They'd been riding so high on a victory that night, warm and close and getting somewhere with all this madness, and things had just spilled over.

Now Jim's comfortable and warm; they're putting themselves back together after everything and there's not a thought in his head except savoring the time. ]

Wouldn't mind it.

[ Jim rubs Zell's knee through his jeans. ]

You make a good pillow. Missed it.

[ Instead of feeling lighter, his heart twists uncomfortably at that. Missed it.

Kissing his shoulder lightly as he gives Jim a squeeze. ]

I missed it too. I missed you so much, Stars.

[ He knows they covered this, but the ache is still there. That something is wrong or Jim may choose to leave without word again. ]

I was really scared when I couldn't find you.

[ Jim goes tense in Zell's arms, muscles tight where they'd been starting to relax. Scared, and Jim knows it. He knows how bad it had been for Zell, had known even through the haze of panic and pain that had been the transformation. ]

I told you as soon as I could.

[ It hadn't been soon enough, but he had tried. ]

[ He feels the change immediately. Wrestling with the feeling of wanting to soothe the stress and everything away. Resting his forehead against his shoulder. ]

You told me as soon as you were far away enough.

[ Should he really be doing this now? He has Jim. He should make the most of it. But

But. ]

I would have understood, Stars. I would have let you go.

You tried to come after me.

[ After everything - as much as Jim had wanted to stay hidden, as much as he needed Zell to stay safe - Zell had tried to find him. ]

I could've killed you, and you tried to come after me.

I was coming after you before I knew what even happened. I thought a monster took you. I thought... something happened. You weren't there, Jim. No one had seen you.

[ Sitting up now as he talks and loosening his hold a bit. He wants to turn Jim around, but he's not sure if Jim wants to even look at him now. ]

After that, it felt right to keep going. I knew I couldn't catch up to you, but I wanted to be close enough to get to you if you needed help. I'm tired of losing people because I'm too far away.

[ His words stumble and his voice breaks at admitting that. ]

[ It takes a moment for him to realize what Jim is talking about. When he tried to fight a locked door. His hands were still sore from that. ]

You were in pain. What the hell was I supposed to do?

[ Sitting up now as he closes his hands into fists. ]

Besides, I know you wouldn't have hurt me.

[ Zell sitting up unseats Jim, but he was already moving away. He retreats to the other end of the tub, pulling his knees up defensively and pushing his hair out of his eyes. ]

You didn't! I didn't! This place - sometimes we can't control ourselves.

[ Sometimes they hurt each other, or lose who they are. ]

I'd rather be alone than hurt you. Even if you're mad at me for it.

[ Whoops. He raises his hand to try to touch the other, but soon he's on the other side withdrawing. Letting his hand hover there lamely before closing his fingers one by one and looking down at it. ]

I know that. I know how this place can get inside your head...

[ He's thinking about the ghost child with the rock. Thinking about when he punched Zack. Who even knows what is in store with them in the future, either...

It was hard to remembering he can actually do some good here. Dropping his hand in the water again with a plop. His clothes were uncomfortable, but he didn't want to move. ]

You had faith in me. You stopped me from going and continued to believe in me even after I hurt Zack. Even after I hurt you...

[ He can imagine the finger shaped bruises on his skin.

But. But there's a point he's going for in all of this. And he has to first make something clear. ]

I get why you did it. I'm not mad at that.

[ Jim's hand raises to his arms, the spot where there was once a bruise, and his lips press into a thin line. He hadn't been angry, then or now, about that but it was the perfect example of how this place could mess you up. How easy it was to lose control.

He lets it go, for now, and dips a little deeper into the water. ]

Then why are you mad?

because neither of us are naked yet wink

[ Zell would have liked him to be angry. Wouldn't have had an issue if Jim couldn't touch him for a while after that.

His eyes travel up to Jim's wrist and then he sighs. ]

We're partners. You could have explained it to me before you left.

[ Shoulders slumping as he leans back. ]

You told me before that's not how it works. I know what was happening wasn't in your control. This place keeps doing things to us that we have no way of stopping right now.

[ Some day he hopes. He desperately hopes that there is a way to control it later. That they can turn off a switch or kick some ass and fix it like he did in his world. ]

You just said-

[ Jim spashes the water, a gesture of useless frustration, and huffs. ]

You just said you knew I wouldn't have hurt you. It wouldn't have been me, but it was still my body. Still my brain, deep down. Maybe it wouldn't have been my fault, but... you still would've gotten hurt if you didn't let me go.

[ He can't argue. They're partners, he should have explained, and it sits guiltily in his chest. ]

Edited 2017-12-05 09:16 (UTC)

Jim. [ Watching the water and the ripples sent through out. Making a sound in response as he looks up at his boyfriend. Reaching over to touch a leg with the usual gentleness. ]

I know you'll do your best. That'll you'll try. [ He hopes it is conveying what he means. He knows Jim would never purposely hurt him. He also know this place has been pretty shitty and taking that control away. Taking so much away... ]

I hope it never happens again, but if it does...

[ His voice lowers to match the touch. ]

Talk to me. Let me know what's going on when it happens, Stars. I'll do the same.

[ Jim looks at Zell's hand when it touches him and the gentleness makes the fight drain out of him, leaving only exhaustion left in him. ]

I'll try. I just.

[ He huffs again and shakes his head. ]

You're the best thing I've got, and I don't want to screw it up. Don't want to hurt you.

[ The best thing I've got. He knows he's heard Jim say this before, but it always hits straight to his heart when he says it again. Tracing the scar there on his knees as he feels himself calm down. ]

We're partners. If something goes wrong for either of us the other will be there to have their back. Even if that means letting them leave when they need it.

[ Offering his hand to Jim. ]

Sorry about worrying you. Also trying to break out of the house after lock down.

[ Jim takes it and holds it in his lap, squeezes tight, and huffs. ]

You were freaking out. I get it. So was I.

[ When he left. ]

Won't do it again without telling you.

[ Returning the squeeze. They both kind of panicked. This place really does mess with them. ]

Thanks, Stars.

[ Leaning forward to be closer to him. ]

How about I make it up to you?

You don't have to.

[ Jim leans forward too, resting their foreheads together. ]

Just stay here for a while?

[ Brushing his knuckles against the side of Jim's face. ]

Yeah we can. However long it takes.

[ Smiling as he moves his hand through Jim's hair. Just going to stroke him for as long as they stay like that.

Or until their remaining clothes become too uncomfy in the water. ]

IC Inbox II

such whoa

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

okay correct response \o/

:3

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

let me know if this makes sense

it does I think. /snugs let me know if ths works <3

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject