rattlingthestars | IC Inbox II

I stayed away.

[ In the future. The one that's not going to happen now, because Jim's not going to let it. He'd been an idiot. ]

I couldn't handle it. Not having this.

I sure as hell didn't make it easier for you.

[ Nuzzling against Jim's ear. ]

I stayed away, too. You were hurting. I could see it when you didn't find what you were searching for. I could see how much I let you down.

[ It felt bad, wrong, and just sad. ]

You didn't - Zell -

[ It shouldn't have mattered, even though it did. Maybe if things hadn't happened the way they had, maybe if it hadn't been one thing on top of another, it would have been better in the future. Maybe if Jim promises right now that this won't happen again, it will be. ]

You're my partner. No matter what. And I think - if I'd remembered that - we wouldn't have been so messed up.

[ Going to shift his arms. Siting back on his rear and pulling Jim into his lap. ]

Yeah, we are partners, but it wasn't your fault. This place messed with us big time.

[ Big time feels like it's being put lightly. Rubbing circles against his back as he tries to meet his eyes. ]

We now know more about what it can do. We can be prepared if it ever happens again, right?

[ Jim remembers when he first heard about Guardian Forces, how horrifying it had been. How he'd promised that they would just start over, if they had to. How wrong he'd been. ]

Right.

[ Jim settles against Zell, knees on either side of his legs, and wraps his arms under Zell's for good measure. ]

You're important. You're worth building something new with. Every time.

[ Kissing his forehead and then resting his own there. His heart had been feeling heavy, and at being told he's worth building something new with, it feels a little better. ]

You too. You're worth building something new. So, if you ever forget this or us. I'll do my best to make you fall for me all over again.

[ Maybe without the actual falling. ]

[ Some days Jim really, really doesn't deserve Zell. ]

You made me better. Just by being here. You get that, don't you?

[ Not just happier, but healthy again, Jim's pretty sure. ]

[ There are times he forgets honestly just how he makes Jim feels. Its only when they are alone together or when they are playing around in the snow that he catches it and it takes him unawares all over again. Knowing someone cares as much and has changed just as much as he cares and changed is amazing. ]

I mean, you make me better. You give me a reason to smile, Stars. And I want to keep improving and learning with you.

[ Leaning in to give a chaste kiss on his lips. ]

Edited 2018-02-05 07:36 (UTC)

You're already pretty amazing.

[ There's a reason Jim started calling him Sunshine in earnest; sometimes that smile's the only thing that makes all this seem worth it. ]

No improvements needed.

I can think of something that needs improvement.

[ Bumping their noses. ]

More kisses? [ He's been starved of affection with their memory future weirdness. ]

Like you have to ask.

[ A while later, though, when they take a break - ]

I do have one question.

[ He'll whisper to Jim much later about how great it feels to have this and have him in his arms again. Time fuckery aside, it's been a couple of weeks and it feels like forever honestly.

Catching his breath as he rests his chin on Jim's shoulder. ]

Hmm? What's up, Stars?

[ It has been forever. Jim's loathe to interrupt it, but he really wants to know... ]

Did you ever look at the pictures?

Huh?

[ He tilts his head as he tries to figure it out. Then he realizes and his face grows warm. ]

Y-yeah I did.

[ Pls forgive him ]

I mean, if you're talking about the pictures.

[ Jim just lays his face down on Zell's shoulder and laughs. Between the blush and - everything else it's just too funny. ]

[ He makes an exaggerated whine. ]

Jiiiiiim.

[ Dropping his hands to his boyfriend's sides as he pokes the special spots. he can give him a better reason to laugh. ]

[ Jim tries to dodge away from the poking, but he can't miss every one. ]

Hey!

[ There's no escape. He has him in his lap and all. Shifting his legs up to an attempt to keep him there as he moves to nibble on his neck while poking still. ]

What?

[ Snickering as he stops not exactly wanting Jim to flee. ]

I was supposed to be teasing you.

[ He'd waited like fifteen years for it, in fact!

Jim's easy enough to pin, though, especially once Zell stops poking. ]

Not really fair.

You're in my arms.

[ Pressing a kiss against the corner of Jim's mouth. ]

You're at my mercy, baby.

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