rattlingthestars | IC Inbox II

[ There's no sense of anything when Jim hits the wall. No teasing job. No reminder about this form or how sloppy he was. Zack just... slumps to a kneel, chest feeling hollow and achy. His gaze rests on the floor, his own breath short. ]

You saw.. the thing from Miller, too.

Screw Miller.

[ Safe to say Jim saw it alright, and now he's so angry he can barely breathe. ]

[ Zack doesn't say anything to that but maybe it's just as well with his voice still raw and hoarse from all the screaming the night before. He probably shouldn't be doing this, but there's a lot of things he's done that he shouldn't be doing at this point. This is just something to add to the list. Doesn't raise his head either. Just continues to sit on the floor, his breathing gradually evening out. But even when it starts to, he doesn't stand or look at him. Just... slowly shakes his head. ]

Edited 2018-10-28 17:00 (UTC)

Screw all of this.

[ Jim's voice is low and almost guttural, seething with the kind of defeated anger he hasn't felt in a long time. ]

What's the freaking point?

I- [ A false start. It's a false one and a bad one at that as he starts coughing. He shouldn't have even said as much as he'd whispered before. Not with the touch of copper taste in his mouth. He covers it, grimacing. Thinks of his tablet, but it's already almost dead.

No point in using it. But then what all can he really say? He shrugs weakly instead, making his hand into a fist to hide the blood in his palm before he starts to push off the floor. He can't say much of anything at all if he doesn't ask, so he points instead now to Jim's pocket. ]

[ Jim watches the coughing, grudging at first but softening a little as it gets worse. So much for talking to Zack. Probably wouldn't have helped anyway. He shoves his hands in his pockets and grimaces before handing over the tablet. ]

-here. Use mine.

[ There's nothing more than a nod of acknowledgment that might as well have been a 'Thank you' when he takes Jim's tablet. Quickly flips through it until he opens up a text and writes from there, showing it to him afterward. ]

I don't know. I thought I did what do you think he means?

That we're just... copies.

[ Fakes. Bad fakes, judging by how often they keep breaking. ]

There's someone back home, that got -

[ His voice breaks and he cuts off, unwilling to put it into words because it's too frustrating to even voice. ]

[ Zack winces. Winces... but he doesn't shake his head. Doesn't wave him off. Just pauses before... very hesitatingly typing. He erases it a few times. Types another thing. Erases it again. And then just settles with whatever he wrote, turning it towards Jim again. ]

that's really us back there? the REAL us?

We're real!

[ It comes out as a shout as Jim pushes the tablet away from him angrily.

Whatever else they are - copies or replacements or ... some kind of computer program, they're real. ]

As real as whoever's back there - living our lives or - whatever.

[ He doesn't expect the shove- though maybe he should have, really. Not that he's focused on that when he's too busy scrambling to catch it so he doesn't end up breaking it. Butterfingers it until he finally has it somehow awkwardly between his elbows, but it doesn't fall down and that's the important part.

Carefully, he lets it down onto the floor, so he can pick it up properly again. He ends up staring down at it anyway. At the blank text box he should be filling in with something. Some touch of encouragement. Some means of something better than what's in his head.

But as he types in what he next wants to say... he almost erases it instead. Ends up standing there just holding it and looking down. ]

[ Jim feels a twinge of guilt, watching Zack fumble with the tablet, but his anger's too big to let in much of any other emotion right now. He watches Zack type in frustration, waiting for whatever he's going to say, and then it doesn't come.

He huffs. ]

What?

[ Withholding things has never been for the best. If anything, it's what's always divided them. Shielding Jim from anything's caused more problems than helped it all.

It still takes Zack maybe way too long before he holds up his tablet again. ]

how are those our lives if we're copies?

Because -

[ He doesn't really have an answer for that, but he's also not really thinking logically at the moment. ]

Because they just are. Our lives. My mom, my house -

[ Zack watches as Jim lists it all off. All the things that should be. All the things that just might not anymore. He sinks back against the wall as he listens, holding up the tablet again to work at. To erase what he wrote- to attempt to start typing something else. His hand freezes above it after the first word and he just stands there, staring down at it. ]

Maybe they're the copy.

[ Apparently Jim's just going to keep talking, at least until Zack types something and shoves it in their face. ]

Maybe they're the ones that didn't earn it -

[ The more Jim talks, the more Zack's hand just hovers over letters seconds before he tries to talk instead. Automatically. Instinctively. And quickly regrets it when his voice comes out as no more than a ghastly wheeze and he coughs instead, covering his mouth with the back of his hand once more. Glances down at it and almost snorts softly before he now gets back to the tablet. Types out a few things in frustration. Forgets to erase his first line before he shows it. Maybe he should have. ]

their we don't know but we might really be copies. or we might not be. we don't have any way of knowing but it would sure explain why there's more than one Cloud who ended up here.

[ Jim watches him, Zack's obvious distress enough to drag him out of his own angry fit for at least a moment. Maybe they can find some salt water...?

The text distracts him. ]

Different universes, remember?

[ It's what Jim's clinging to. ]

Different Clouds. But not copies.

unless that wasn't true in the first place. maybe he lied this whole time.

[ But then maybe he's lying about this then, too? But maybe not. Maybe- ]

maybe this was all some kind of fucked up experiment. maybe it was just some kind of trial thing all along.

[ Maybe he shouldn't be spilling all of this. Maybe he should have kept it all to himself. Maybe he's a fool for saying anything at all. But his mind feels like it's whirling, fear rising again. Before, it had been affecting his comrades in arms. Now, it's something with a further reach. ]

[ And now Jim's back to glaring at Zack. ]

So you're saying it's not real? That none of this ever mattered?

[ Not to the real - but they are the real them. They are. Anything else is bullshit. ]

I'm-

[ More coughing and this time he almost drops the tablet now. Barely makes for a catch and he glares down at it like it just smack talked him. Fingers run across keys if not shakily and he holds it up to Jim- almost hits him with the face with it unintentionally. ]

im not sayin none of this mattred!

'Cause it doesn't, if it's fake.

[ Jim wants to punch the wall again. He wants to scream and throw Zack's stupid tablet and break down any door between him and Robert Miller. ]

There's no ticket home if there's no home.

[ There's a loud smack as the tablet hits the floor suddenly. Not thrown but forgotten in the midst of Zack's widening eyes. He scrambles and reaches and finally tries for Jim's shoulders, voice escaping him in no more than air and a wisp of a voice lost from screaming the night before.

But he's shaking his shoulders just as much as he's shaking his head, stubborn and desperate at once. ]

[ Jim jumps at the sound of the tablet hitting the floor and cringes away, trying to escape Zack's hold and not be forced to look at the frantic denial. ]

We can't go home if there's not a home.

[ He's repeating himself, but it's true. It's running through his head. If there's another him out there, going home, making good, rebuilding the inn - what's left? ]

[ The more Jim tries to move away, the more Zack's grip tightens. As if to say 'Look at me!'. But his lost voice eventually has him giving way to more coughing, making for an easy escape for Jim as he sags against the wall now and this time, he doesn't stop as easily nor as quickly. This time, he drops to a knee. ]

IC Inbox II

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cw: blood

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