[ Jim's voice is an exasperated whine that is... honestly not very attractive. Definitely enough to knock him out of the best boyfriend category, if pill-theft didn't. So there. His face definitely looks worried more than anything, even after the kiss; it's been days since the post office.
He dutifully takes out a pill and offers it straight to Zell's mouth rather than handing it to him. ] None of that's... [ More important than you, he means to say. ] - I wish you'd told me.
[Him being concerned is very touching. He opens his mouth to respond to his name being said like that, but there is a pill in front of him. He catches the offered fingers with his teeth as he plants his hands on Jim's hips. Opening his mouth wide to let Jim drop the pill in before swallowing it. Then he's giving Jim a kiss on the corner of his mouth. Sorry if he tastes like the coating they put on the pill.]
I was going to. [He really was!] I just was too caught up making you were alright. You getting rest is more important than a little pain. [Jim > Zell.]
[ Jim's too happy for the kiss to much care about the taste, though he does lick it off his lip as soon as they part. At least Zell's taking the medicine rather than trying to tough it out, and if he's taking it often then that means it must help at least a little. It also means Zell is taking care of himself, so Jim doesn't really have anything else to object to. At least not toward Zell, and he doubts @admin would listen to him if he asked her to leave Zell alone. ]
You being in pain is more important than a little rest.
[ That, at least, is something Jim can be grumpy about. Even as he's speaking, though, he's stepping around behind Zell and putting his hands on Zell's shoulders. ]
[Jim why? His attention will be on that tongue when he licks it off. Yeah sorry, but he is finally living up to the expectations of being a teenager.
Shaking his head at both where his mind tried going to and Jim saying his pain is more important. Jim staying healthy is important to him, especially with little he actually sleeps.]
I don't want you getting sick like Zack did.
[Not here at least. If this was home or some where safe and warm, then he wouldn't mind spoiling Jim whenever he falls ill.
Giving a nod at the question.]
If you let me return the favor later. [Turning his head to try to get a peak at his boyfriend.]
Want me to take it off? [His jacket and any other layers Jim wants.]
Edited (adding some words. Sorry ) 2016-05-13 20:01 (UTC)
[ Jim catches the look and feels the same excited, happy, strange feeling as he always does whenever he sees Zell looking. It seems like there should be someone else over his shoulder and not just plain Jim attracting that kind of attention, but unbelievably, it really is directed at him.
He'll store that away and think about it later, though, because right now he's got bigger things to worry about. His arms, still wrapped around from behind, squeeze Zell in a hug before he starts to undo the buttons himself. ]
I'm not gonna get sick, Zell, I'm fine. You're the one that's sick.
[ Or... something. MN poisoning? In any case, it's not great. He doesn't answer Zell's comment about wanting to return the favor, because ... well, he'd like that, but the focus should be on Zell right now.
[There's something very nice about Jim unbuttoning his jacket. It's intimate and sends a warm feeling spreading through him. It's one of those moments where he can see Jim helping him change days, months, and maybe even years from now. Reaching up to skim lightly across the back of Jim's hands.] We both are. [He hates to think about it, but everyone has it. Zell waits until Jim gets the last button free to capture his hand. Bringing it to his mouth to press his lips against Jim's wrist.]
Want to hold on to them for me? That way you'll know how often I take them and if there are any changes. [Kissing his palm.] And you let me take care of you.
[ As for the pills, well: there's a part of Jim that wants to take him up on that, so he can know and so he can be the one to take care of Zell. But as Zell kisses Jim's wrist, he worries that Zell won't put himself first long enough to ask for medicine when he needs it, either because it'll worry Jim or because he thinks something more important is happening.
Jim slides his arm out of Zell's grasp when he ends the kiss and uses it to pull both Zell's coats off his shoulders, leaving the tanktop in place. He gets it halfway down Zell's arms before he has to lean in and nuzzle the back of his neck. He gives it a gentle kiss and rests his face there. ] Promise you'll ask for them if you need them?
[He ponders on a moment if he should protest. If he should point out Jim's sleep patterns and the note about the monsters he has tucked away in his note book. How Jim is a mess every time a monster shows up. How neither of them are fine.
However, his brain goes totally blank at the contact against the back of his neck. A tingling feeling runs down from his neck, all the way down his spine. It's very nice and he softly hums as he places a hand over Jim's hand.]
I promise, Stars. [Giving his hand a squeeze before dropping it to let Jim finish.] Could you write me more notes? About your thoughts and what you're feeling?
Yeah. [ Jim's cheating a little, turning his nose to nuzzle at the nape of Zell's neck where his hair's a little overgrown. ] If you want to hear about it, I guess.
[ He works at the buttons until they're loose and he can slide the coat off Zell's shoulders and the smaller, short-sleeved jacket with it. He hesitates over Zell's tshirt, but in the end keeping him some kind of warm is more important than getting skin-to-skin contact. ] Want to sit down for this?
[Definitely cheating if the shudder is anything to go by. It's amazing what a new kind of contact from your boyfriend could do.] Y-yeah. [Clearing his throat.] Yeah, I do want to hear about it. [And with more conviction:] Jim, I want to hear everything.
[There is something important he really wants to hear, but stripping seems more important at the moment. Jim's well intentions about keeping something on Zell isn't known to Zell as he pulls off the last layer himself. Check out how those back muscles move, Jim.] What's easier for you?
going to hell going to hell going directly to hell
[ Jim does, and then reaches out both hands to feel the muscles move under them as he takes a long, deep breath and lets it go. ] Just a second. [ He kisses the point of Zell's shoulder before he steps away, holding up one finger as he goes back to their packs to retrieve a few of the blankets and returns to lay them out for Zell to sit on. ] This is better. Can lay down on your stomach for me?
[Zell sucks in a breath at the contact. He stretches his arms and flexes just a bit to give him something to feel back there. He starts to try to look behind him as Jim speaks, but the kiss shuts down his ability to brain for a second. Looking over his shoulder to see that finger and remembering Jim’s words.
Then Jim is and laying the blanket on the ground. He has the best boyfriend. Taking the time to press a kiss against Jim’s cheek before he lays down on the blanket.] Thanks, Stars.
[Folding his arms to use as a pillow as he turns his head to look at his boyfriend.] This good?
[ Jim's cheek is hot when Zell kisses it, his eyes turned toward the ceiling until Zell settles on the blanket. It's hard not to want to stare when he's laid out like that, completely visible in places that Jim can usually only steal piecemeal glances at. He touches the tattoo between Zell's shoulder blades first, hand just resting there as he's overwhelmed by how much he loves everythign about this boy. ]
-Perfect,
[ Belated. He shakes his head and palms some of the lotion that he'd snagged when he went to get the blanket, holding it between both hands and blowing on it to try to warm it up. When he's sure that it's not going to hurt Zell more than it helps, he smears it down Zell's spine in one long motion and then realizes that he actually has no idea what he's doing here. ] Tell me if this hurts, okay?
[His heart is beating fast in his chest as he feels Jim's hand on his back. It feels good, and also adds fuel to his imagination to imagining that hand else where. Swallowing a bit as he buries his face against his arm as he counts backwards.
His face is still warm as he turns his head to try to look at Jim. When he drags warm hands covered in lotion down his back, his brain goes rocketing back to untoward thoughts as he makes a low moan.]
[ Jim's next word is a curse in an alien language, harsh not only because the sound wasn't meant for a human throat. He wants to put his face in his hands, but they're kind of covered in lotion at the moment.
Instead he'll just look at the ceiling again and hope certain problems go away eventually. ]
Don't think that's a good idea -
[ He says, but it's faint. He clears his throat and it's a little more confident this time. ]
[His brows raise with concern over the cursing. Zell lifts his head up for a moment to try to get a good look at his boyfriend. It doesn't take long for him to guess they both are both probably dealing with similar issues.
Then Jim mentions talking. Regardless of what any other part of his body thinks, talking is more important than trying to put the moves on his boyfriend.]
Not sure how much talking I can do with your hands on me. [He answers truthfully.] I can listen.
[It helps that he's just as smitten with Jim's voice as he is with the owner. He's lifting his head enough to free one of his arms. Moving it back to brush the tips of his fingers against Jim.]
[ Jim's face is hot and so are his hands as he starts rubbing Zell's back. It's very purposefully not sensual, and maybe a little too rough, but he's never done this before. He just wants Zell to feel better, without the two of them getting distracted for once.
Talking, though, is as difficult for Jim right now as it is for Zell as he sits on his knees over his boyfriend, staring at his own hands. Eventually, he admits: ] I don't know where to start.
[He’s more than good with the rough hands. Sighing contentedly as he arches into Jim’s touch. So much for staying still.
Jim doesn’t know where to start. Him even admitting that much is something. Thinking about it for a moment or two.] You could start with what you think when it happens. [A pause.] Or what you were thinking when responding to Kunsel earlier. [Sorry love, he’s seen the message on the network.]
[ Jim's quiet again, trying to get his thoughts in order as he rolls his palms over the small of Zell's back. The truth is, it's hard to think when it's happening - everything gets noisy in his head and all he can do is feel. The fear's always so strong it keeps threatening to overwhelm him, get him killed, get everyone else killed.
Sure, he's been afraid before. But back home, every bad thing that happened, he kept pushing past it. This he can't seem to shake, and when it ebbs he's left feeling like a coward.
It's easier to talk about what he said on the network, though it doesn't feel as honest. ]
About how lucky I was, mostly. I did something stupid and it could've - [ He pauses and seems to focus on the massage. ] - So much has happened since then. Me and you. Could've missed that.
[He’s split between wanting to roll over to engulf his boyfriend into a hug or letting Jim work those hands on his back. At the moment, he’ll settle for curling his fingers around Jim’s thigh.]
I know the feeling. [If earlier wasn’t obvious enough. Spreading his fingers wide on Jim as he tries to feel just a little more.] It’s okay to be scared, you know.
[There is a pause as Jim hits a spot. Sighing with pleasure as he tries to remember what he wanted to say.]
Even I get scared, Jim. I’m so used to being able to punch anything that gets in my way and I can’t with these monsters. Not yet. [But he is determined that they will find a way to kick their asses.]
I'm here though. If you let me, I will keep you safe. I will keep holding on.
[ Jim's hands don't stop moving when Zell reaches out to touch him and his smile is invisible, but it's still there. So is the way he changes direction, subtly, to run back over that spot when Zell makes a happy noise. Means Jim's doing something right.
The smile fades, gradually, only to turn wry at the not yet. Of course Zell hasn't given up hope of punching the monsters. It's one of those moments where Jim feels a swell of love so strong he thinks he might be physically lifted by it. He wants to turn Zell over and put this privacy to good use, but Zell's back feeling better is more important. He lean down enough to kiss between Zell's shoulder blades, barely there and then gone.
He's quiet for long enough that it might seem as though he's not going to say anything at all, but he's just marshaling his thoughts again. ]
I know you're here. I trust you.
[ That has never been the problem, not since this began. ]
Just - Zell, if I choke, I'll stop moving. [ Like a coward. A coward who can't keep anyone safe, who always has to be guarded by the other three. ]
[ Little does Jim know, to Zell he always does something right. Making a content sound as he wiggles a little under Jim. He wants more touching and just more of Jim in general.
There is a smile as he feels that light touch. Warmth seems to sprout and spread from the spot between his shoulder blades. Zell definitely feels loved at that moment. Hopefully the lotion doesn’t taste bad.
Jim’s words, has Zell trying to look behind him to catch his expression. Trying to twist just his upper body to better see his boyfriend. ]
Jim. [ His voice is full of warmth as he says his name. ] It didn’t stop you from saving me. [Lifting his hand up to wiggle his fingers… and then he’s going to try to turn the rest of his body over to lay on his back. Sorry Jim, back rub is going to be put on hold, but feel free to enjoy the new view. Grabbing the fabric of Jim’s top to give it a tug. ]
You braved all those monsters to grab me and pull me to safety. [ Moving his hand to rest over his boyfriend’s as he laces their fingers together. He’s still very proud of Jim for that. He knows he has his back and knows they’ll look out for each other. ] We’re partners, right?
[ Is that bravery? It feels selfish. Maybe if he'd done it for a stranger, like Zell had for Kesara that day, it might've been different. Jim's just unwilling to lose one of the best things that's ever happened.
The best thing that's ever happened and who keeps resisting Jim's efforts to help. Zell earns a slightly reproachful look when he turns on his back, but Jim doesn't put up any real resistance to hand-holding. ]
Of course we're partners. That's why I can't - [ He bites off into frustrated silence. ]
Six monsters, Jim. There were six of them out there at the time.
[ Including Silver. And they were all closing in to go after their respective person with Zell heading towards them. ] It was before I even realized that I had a crush on you. [ And that moment did take a toll on Jim. He went off to shut himself away from everyone to fall to pieces. He held it together just long enough to get Zell to safety and then shut himself away.
The reproachful look is met with a sheepish look. Bringing their links hands to his mouth to press a kiss against the back of each of Jim's fingers. ]
Not anyone would do that. Hell, Tifa was right there and she didn't even try to grab me. She was frozen and it wasn't just her. Everyone froze when they saw them, Jim. Only you moved into action to grab me.
[ He sits up using only his stomach muscles to pull himself out check it out Jim. Reaching with his other hand to cup the side of Jim's face. Normally he wouldn't push this, but Jim needs to understand that he's amazing. ] There's no other place I'd rather be than at your side when things get tough. I know you'll have my back or will fight to protect me from cranky vampires.
[ He knows Jim will at least sass at Beckett, and has a feeling he would protect him more than just that. That when he says he rather it be him that the monsters kill. He'll brave all of that all over again to keep Zell and anyone safe. It made Zell worry, but at the same time proud. ]
If you can't move, I'll help you. I'm not going to let go. I'll catch you when you fall. [ And he means more than just falling from the top of desks that are precariously balanced on top of each other. ]
[ He repeats it again, in case Zell doesn't understand. It hadn't been a decision, as far as Jim's concerned. Even if they hadn't known yet... well, Jim'd already had an idea. Jim kissed Zell in his sleep that night.
He breaks a hand away from Zell's to nudge his boyfriend's hair gently away from his eyes, though he avoids meeting them even when Zell cups his chin. ]
I will protect you. I'll catch you.
[ Jim's silent, thinking about how he should answer the other part of Zell's question - what else he'd been thinking about when Kunsel posted those statistics. How he wants to catch Zell, but - not the other way around. Not if it means Zell dying for him, because he can't think about that.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ Jim's voice is an exasperated whine that is... honestly not very attractive.
Definitely enough to knock him out of the best boyfriend category, if pill-theft didn't. So there.His face definitely looks worried more than anything, even after the kiss; it's been days since the post office.He dutifully takes out a pill and offers it straight to Zell's mouth rather than handing it to him. ] None of that's... [ More important than you, he means to say. ] - I wish you'd told me.
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I was going to. [He really was!] I just was too caught up making you were alright. You getting rest is more important than a little pain. [Jim > Zell.]
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You being in pain is more important than a little rest.
[ That, at least, is something Jim can be grumpy about. Even as he's speaking, though, he's stepping around behind Zell and putting his hands on Zell's shoulders. ]
- Can I?
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Shaking his head at both where his mind tried going to and Jim saying his pain is more important. Jim staying healthy is important to him, especially with little he actually sleeps.]
I don't want you getting sick like Zack did.
[Not here at least. If this was home or some where safe and warm, then he wouldn't mind spoiling Jim whenever he falls ill.
Giving a nod at the question.]
If you let me return the favor later. [Turning his head to try to get a peak at his boyfriend.]
Want me to take it off? [His jacket and any other layers Jim wants.]
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He'll store that away and think about it later, though, because right now he's got bigger things to worry about. His arms, still wrapped around from behind, squeeze Zell in a hug before he starts to undo the buttons himself. ]
I'm not gonna get sick, Zell, I'm fine. You're the one that's sick.
[ Or... something. MN poisoning? In any case, it's not great. He doesn't answer Zell's comment about wanting to return the favor, because ... well, he'd like that, but the focus should be on Zell right now.
Stop trying to distract him.]no subject
We both are. [He hates to think about it, but everyone has it. Zell waits until Jim gets the last button free to capture his hand. Bringing it to his mouth to press his lips against Jim's wrist.]
Want to hold on to them for me? That way you'll know how often I take them and if there are any changes. [Kissing his palm.] And you let me take care of you.
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[ As for the pills, well: there's a part of Jim that wants to take him up on that, so he can know and so he can be the one to take care of Zell. But as Zell kisses Jim's wrist, he worries that Zell won't put himself first long enough to ask for medicine when he needs it, either because it'll worry Jim or because he thinks something more important is happening.
Jim slides his arm out of Zell's grasp when he ends the kiss and uses it to pull both Zell's coats off his shoulders, leaving the tanktop in place. He gets it halfway down Zell's arms before he has to lean in and nuzzle the back of his neck. He gives it a gentle kiss and rests his face there. ] Promise you'll ask for them if you need them?
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However, his brain goes totally blank at the contact against the back of his neck. A tingling feeling runs down from his neck, all the way down his spine. It's very nice and he softly hums as he places a hand over Jim's hand.]
I promise, Stars. [Giving his hand a squeeze before dropping it to let Jim finish.] Could you write me more notes? About your thoughts and what you're feeling?
he can try if i am not a failboat, anyway
[ He works at the buttons until they're loose and he can slide the coat off Zell's shoulders and the smaller, short-sleeved jacket with it. He hesitates over Zell's tshirt, but in the end keeping him some kind of warm is more important than getting skin-to-skin contact. ] Want to sit down for this?
<3 we can always handwave or make a note of it
[There is something important he really wants to hear, but stripping seems more important at the moment. Jim's well intentions about keeping something on Zell isn't known to Zell as he pulls off the last layer himself. Check out how those back muscles move, Jim.] What's easier for you?
going to hell going to hell going directly to hell
;D
Then Jim is and laying the blanket on the ground. He has the best boyfriend. Taking the time to press a kiss against Jim’s cheek before he lays down on the blanket.] Thanks, Stars.
[Folding his arms to use as a pillow as he turns his head to look at his boyfriend.] This good?
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-Perfect,
[ Belated. He shakes his head and palms some of the lotion that he'd snagged when he went to get the blanket, holding it between both hands and blowing on it to try to warm it up. When he's sure that it's not going to hurt Zell more than it helps, he smears it down Zell's spine in one long motion and then realizes that he actually has no idea what he's doing here. ] Tell me if this hurts, okay?
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His face is still warm as he turns his head to try to look at Jim. When he drags warm hands covered in lotion down his back, his brain goes rocketing back to untoward thoughts as he makes a low moan.]
Are you going to kiss it better if you do?
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Instead he'll just look at the ceiling again and hope certain problems go away eventually. ]
Don't think that's a good idea -
[ He says, but it's faint. He clears his throat and it's a little more confident this time. ]
- Not if you want to talk.
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Then Jim mentions talking. Regardless of what any other part of his body thinks, talking is more important than trying to put the moves on his boyfriend.]
Not sure how much talking I can do with your hands on me. [He answers truthfully.] I can listen.
[It helps that he's just as smitten with Jim's voice as he is with the owner. He's lifting his head enough to free one of his arms. Moving it back to brush the tips of his fingers against Jim.]
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Talking, though, is as difficult for Jim right now as it is for Zell as he sits on his knees over his boyfriend, staring at his own hands. Eventually, he admits: ] I don't know where to start.
because butt butt butt (Icon)
Jim doesn’t know where to start. Him even admitting that much is something. Thinking about it for a moment or two.] You could start with what you think when it happens. [A pause.] Or what you were thinking when responding to Kunsel earlier. [Sorry love, he’s seen the message on the network.]
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Sure, he's been afraid before. But back home, every bad thing that happened, he kept pushing past it. This he can't seem to shake, and when it ebbs he's left feeling like a coward.
It's easier to talk about what he said on the network, though it doesn't feel as honest. ]
About how lucky I was, mostly. I did something stupid and it could've - [ He pauses and seems to focus on the massage. ] - So much has happened since then. Me and you. Could've missed that.
/rolls away
I know the feeling. [If earlier wasn’t obvious enough. Spreading his fingers wide on Jim as he tries to feel just a little more.] It’s okay to be scared, you know.
[There is a pause as Jim hits a spot. Sighing with pleasure as he tries to remember what he wanted to say.]
Even I get scared, Jim. I’m so used to being able to punch anything that gets in my way and I can’t with these monsters. Not yet. [But he is determined that they will find a way to kick their asses.]
I'm here though. If you let me, I will keep you safe. I will keep holding on.
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The smile fades, gradually, only to turn wry at the not yet. Of course Zell hasn't given up hope of punching the monsters. It's one of those moments where Jim feels a swell of love so strong he thinks he might be physically lifted by it. He wants to turn Zell over and put this privacy to good use, but Zell's back feeling better is more important. He lean down enough to kiss between Zell's shoulder blades, barely there and then gone.
He's quiet for long enough that it might seem as though he's not going to say anything at all, but he's just marshaling his thoughts again. ]
I know you're here. I trust you.
[ That has never been the problem, not since this began. ]
Just - Zell, if I choke, I'll stop moving. [ Like a coward. A coward who can't keep anyone safe, who always has to be guarded by the other three. ]
might edit maybe
There is a smile as he feels that light touch. Warmth seems to sprout and spread from the spot between his shoulder blades. Zell definitely feels loved at that moment. Hopefully the lotion doesn’t taste bad.
Jim’s words, has Zell trying to look behind him to catch his expression. Trying to twist just his upper body to better see his boyfriend. ]
Jim. [ His voice is full of warmth as he says his name. ] It didn’t stop you from saving me. [Lifting his hand up to wiggle his fingers… and then he’s going to try to turn the rest of his body over to lay on his back. Sorry Jim, back rub is going to be put on hold, but feel free to enjoy the new view. Grabbing the fabric of Jim’s top to give it a tug. ]
You braved all those monsters to grab me and pull me to safety. [ Moving his hand to rest over his boyfriend’s as he laces their fingers together. He’s still very proud of Jim for that. He knows he has his back and knows they’ll look out for each other. ] We’re partners, right?
<3
[ Is that bravery? It feels selfish. Maybe if he'd done it for a stranger, like Zell had for Kesara that day, it might've been different. Jim's just unwilling to lose one of the best things that's ever happened.
The best thing that's ever happened and who keeps resisting Jim's efforts to help. Zell earns a slightly reproachful look when he turns on his back, but Jim doesn't put up any real resistance to hand-holding. ]
Of course we're partners. That's why I can't - [ He bites off into frustrated silence. ]
IDK SHOUNEN SPARKLES ON
[ Including Silver. And they were all closing in to go after their respective person with Zell heading towards them. ] It was before I even realized that I had a crush on you. [ And that moment did take a toll on Jim. He went off to shut himself away from everyone to fall to pieces. He held it together just long enough to get Zell to safety and then shut himself away.
The reproachful look is met with a sheepish look. Bringing their links hands to his mouth to press a kiss against the back of each of Jim's fingers. ]
Not anyone would do that. Hell, Tifa was right there and she didn't even try to grab me. She was frozen and it wasn't just her. Everyone froze when they saw them, Jim. Only you moved into action to grab me.
[ He sits up using only his stomach muscles to pull himself out
check it out Jim. Reaching with his other hand to cup the side of Jim's face. Normally he wouldn't push this, but Jim needs to understand that he's amazing. ] There's no other place I'd rather be than at your side when things get tough. I know you'll have my back or will fight to protect me from cranky vampires.[ He knows Jim will at least sass at Beckett, and has a feeling he would protect him more than just that. That when he says he rather it be him that the monsters kill. He'll brave all of that all over again to keep Zell and anyone safe. It made Zell worry, but at the same time proud. ]
If you can't move, I'll help you. I'm not going to let go. I'll catch you when you fall. [ And he means more than just falling from the top of desks that are precariously balanced on top of each other. ]
idk if this makes sense i'm sorry
[ He repeats it again, in case Zell doesn't understand. It hadn't been a decision, as far as Jim's concerned. Even if they hadn't known yet... well, Jim'd already had an idea. Jim kissed Zell in his sleep that night.
He breaks a hand away from Zell's to nudge his boyfriend's hair gently away from his eyes, though he avoids meeting them even when Zell cups his chin. ]
I will protect you. I'll catch you.
[ Jim's silent, thinking about how he should answer the other part of Zell's question - what else he'd been thinking about when Kunsel posted those statistics. How he wants to catch Zell, but - not the other way around. Not if it means Zell dying for him, because he can't think about that.
The thought stays buried. ]
I won't choke.
<3 it's good
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making the beast with two backs eh
woof woof
i lost this one orz - i think it's about to wrap anyway though?
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bad at wrapping threads whoops OKAY T HIS ONE FOR REAL