rattlingthestars | IC Inbox II

[ Seeing the name on the screen, he could feel his heart rising in his chest. The video itself dashed the feelings fairly quickly. The galaxy reminds him of the anamoly of Jim's dad. Missing. Empty. Gone.

Then the words. The words make him feel wretched.

Swallowing back the wave of emotions that are threatening to claw their way out, as he shakily responds. ]

Jim?! No one left you. You aren't alone! Tell me where you are... I'll come find you! [ His voice cracks with desperation. He hopes Jim actually tells him. Actually gives him a clue or something. Anything.

He misses him so badly. ]

We can figure this out together. Let me help you.

No!

[ It sounds, for a moment, like Jim. The tablet shifts back and the light catches his terrible face - Jim's face, with no eyes, just stars where they ought to be.

He corrects it as fast as he can and the part of him that's still human hopes it hadn't been enough for Zell to see. ]

alone - Don't follow me - alone, alone, quiet - I don't want to hurt you -!

[ He takes in a sharp intake of breath. The expression and color he loves seeing were now gone. Only thing left was space...

When he picked Stars for a username he never could fathom it being twisted in this way. ]

Oh, Jim.

[ Swallowing. ] You won't hurt me. I trust you, Jim. Where are you?

I will.

[ It's still Jim, apparently, and the echoing has died down for the moment. It's only his harsh breathing - in the same cadence as they've practiced again and again, if Zell listens for it - that remains. ]

I could. Please - if you trust me -

[ Jim cuts off with a strangled noise and drops the tablet, leaving Zell with only sounds of scuffling. ]

[ He does catches the breathing and he wants to point out that Jim is still himself. He's still trying to be in control. It's the please that kicks all the fight out of him. He can't say no to Jim saying please.

Making a low, agonized sound in return, and he's ready to say something. Anything, but then the sounds on the other end of the tablet make him forget everything. Something was wrong. ]

Jim? Jim?! What's wrong? [ A million things run through his mind as to what is happening. Maybe someone found Jim and decided to dispatch him? Maybe there are monsters there? ] Jim!!! [ He's on the verge of freaking out. ]

[ Jim feels something happening. It's like his spine is moving - pushing to get out, because his skin is too small for whatever it is. He rips his coat off and just manages to get the sweater off before a ripple of pain courses through him and he falls to his knees, back in the tablet's circle of light.

He wants to scream but the part of his mind that's aware of Zell still keeps it inside. He grunts, instead, and it turns into a low groan as his body shifts and tears to let a sail unfurl on his back. ]

[ Zell starts moving out of suite to head down the stairs. Another set of footfalls follow behind him as he goes. He knows the doors are locked, but he has to try anyways. He has to get to Jim. He stops as he sees the sail.

He winces knowing that has to hurt. ]

Frickin' hell... Jim?! [ He looks over the screen to try to see any blood or anything. ] C'mon, talk to me! Jim!

[ The video is static-y now, like someone filming any other monster.

Jim's doubled over on the floor, forehead pressed to the cool ground as he struggles to keep breathing. He needs to answer Zell, he knows he does, but it's still hard. ]

-Hurts.

[ The static is like another nail in. Frantically skipping steps as he flies down the stairs until he finally reaches the fake church. ]

Hang on, Jim. I'm going to try! [ The answer as to what he wants to try is probably heard soon after as Zell tries the handle of the door, then pounds on it. Trying to get it open even while lock down is in place. ]

Open! C'mon! [ There is a loud slamming as the tablet falls while he hits the door. ]

Zell -

[ Jim's voice is weak,a nd cuts off when he hears the pounding. It hurts, like his ears are too sensitive now that his sight's been cut off, and he just wants it to - ]

Zell, stop! Stop.

I have to get to you, Jim! I have to.

[ He does stop because Jim asks. Ignoring the stinging on his hands and knuckles as he rests his forehead against the door. Realization that again he can't help anyone knocks the wind out of him. Making a low sound that sounds pretty close to a sob. ]

I have to get to you...

No!

[ Jim knows after Tadashi and Cloud that it's impossible to bust out of the buildings after lockdown, but it doesn't stop the new fear clawing its way through him. ]

You can't go outside in this, you know that!

I have to! I can't just do nothing, Jim!

[ He hits the door again, this time it's without any force. ]

I can't do anything...

[ It's hard to think, now. There's an undercurrent of emotion in Jim that feels familiar - all the resentments and loneliness that have built up over the past seven years - but it's not right. He keeps telling himself it's not right.

He needs to focus. The pain helps. ]

You can do something for me.

[ He's quiet for a moment as he tries hard to rein himself in as he sinks to the floor. ]

What? What can I do? [ His voice comes out both quiet and raw. ]

You can wait.

[ Jim knows it's hard. Impossible, maybe, for Zell. ]

You can be you, when I - when I'm me again. You can give me something to come back to.

[ He wants to argue, but he knows Jim is right. That's all he can really do. That's all he's been able to do. Feeling the tears run down his face as he hugs tablet close. ]

Yeah. Yeah, I can wait.

[ Swallowing back the emotions as he looks back towards the rows of substitute pews and the abstract eye symbol with blood. ]

I'll try to wait.

[ For a moment, he wonders how much of him would be left for Jim when he returns to normal.

It's only been a couple of days. This thing only has a couple more days left, right? ]

I need you to wait.

[ It's not a suggestion, or a platitude. Jim almost sounds like he's begging, now, and that same refrain is rasping between his every breath. Alone, abandoned, alone, alone, worthless - ]

Need you to be there - the same -

[ He needs him to wait. He needs him to be there and the same. A part of him wants to yell about how it's unfair. How Zell needed Jim not to take off in the first place. Not in the way he did. Leaving him alone and very confused. That a stretch of time elapsed and Jim still didn't come back. That Jim lied and took off like that...

What about what Zell needs or wants? What about keeping promises or even trying to communicate?

He couldn't hide the sob that did manage to come out. Can't hide the sound of him hitting the door one last time.

Zell is quiet for a bit. Quiet, as he holds his breath until the emotions shaking his core and body calm down. Gasping for air once he needs to breathe and then nodding at the tablet, despite the other being unable to see him. ]

Yeah. [ His voice is raw. ] Yeah, I'll be the same. I'll wait however long it takes.

[ Jim thought he was helping. He thought he could give Zell something to hold on to, something to work toward, something that might make him feel less helpless in the midst of this horrible situation.

But maybe he's not thinking of Zell at all. It's hard to, through the pain and the panic that this is permanent. His body's changed into something Zell could never love, his mind is overtaken by a force he can't explain, and nothing is right. He just wants one thing - one person to be right. ]

I don't know how much longer I'll be able to talk.

[ Zell's right is crumbling. Looking at the screen of the tablet to try to glean what he could. To try to pick out his boyfriend in the darkness. Tracing out his form as best as he could. ]

It's. It's okay. I have- [ Swallowing as he looks to the patchwork creature lingering by. Then looking beyond him to the stairs he came down. ]

Morph and Mochi are looking after me.

[ But there is a longing in his voice. A loneliness there that's making it hard to keep things together. They aren't the ones he want beside him. ]

Love you, Stars. You know...[ His voice breaks there. ]

Morph...

[ It stirs a memory in Jim, one he's mostly buried along with his love for Silver. Morphie, I've got a job for ye...

Jim clears his throat to talk through the tears. ]

Can I. Can you put him on, for a second?

[ Standing up shakily as he tries to nod. ]

Of course you can. It might take a few to get to him.

[ Realizing with a twist of his gut that both animals are probably super worried after he took off down the stairs like that. Breezing past the anomaly and actively ignoring him as he heads back up the stairs, albeit slowly.

Talking is hard. Hard without giving away just how much this hurts on the inside. Humming softly to give him something to focus on. The song should be familiar, because it's something Jim taught him.

Morph meets him three-fourths of the way up, having likely flown down to check on Zell. ]

Here he is.

[ Jim gets why Silver did what he did with Morph, now. It's easier. He's learning all kinds of things about himself, now.

He draws a shaky breath and gentles his voice, making sure it's not upset and won't send Morph panicking. ]

Hey, buddy. I've got a job for you.

[ He hesitates, wanting so badly to see Zell's face and know what he thinks. ]

I - I need you to look out for Zell. Stand guard, okay? Don't leave him alone. I love him, more than anything, and... I need you to take care of him.

[ He sees Morph scooting in close to the screen as Jim's voice comes clearly across. Looks like the guy is pretty eager to be helpful. Zell knows that feeling. Zell closes his eyes and pictures Jim's expression as he talks to Morph. He can almost see it...

And then Jim's next set of words causes him to look up again. He can see Morph looking at him with determination. Covering his mouth as he starts to cry again, but this time because he knows he's loved. This time because Jim is making sure he's taken care of in the only way he can. Wiping away the tears as he tries to smile at the pink blob who is probably communicating her understands in his own way. A new way without his transformation abilities.

Sorry Jim, Zell can't word at the moment. ]

IC Inbox II

audio

perma video

you know those cheesy lines about seeing stars in their eyes

:D ruined forever? also decided to be awful.

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he can't kiss them better ;-;

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I dont have the right icon for this

everything is terrible forever~

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probably a wrap on this one too \o/