rattlingthestars | IC Inbox II

[ He wakes up feeling like something is missing. Carefully sitting up as he peer at the sleeping forms beside him. Then it hits him like a blow...

They no longer appeared older. The memories of time passing, and things being bleak in the future without him were there, but becoming blurred around the edges. Like it might have been a vivid dream.

And Jim wasn't holding on or snuggled against him. His body feels cold as he seeks out Jim. Sleep was trying to drag him back, which is keeping him from realizing that he actually remembers everyone again, when he finally locates Jim. Moving over to help himself to curling up beside him, wrapping an arm around him.

Then it hits him. He remembers Jim and everyone again. Grinning softly to himself as he presses a kiss against Jim's head, and then settles against him. When Jim wakes up, they can celebrate. For now, he's going to wrap his arms around him and go back to sleep. ]

Night Stars.

[ Jim's curled up in a ball, keeping himself warm without his usual human blanket. He relaxes under Zell's arm and hums in his sleep as he settles back against his boyfriend.

He doesn't wake up all the way, though, not until an hour before dawn.

He sits up quickly, finding his movement a little restricted, but when his eyes land on Zell it's the same kind of relief he felt before all over again. ]

Sunshine? Hey, wake up, we're normal again.

[ Jim sitting up puts Zell back on the track of waking up again. His arm tightens around Jim's stomach. Making a soft sound in response, but instead of getting up he just shifts closer to nuzzle into Jim's side. He is not ready to lose this warmth again.

Cracking open his eyes and trying to figure out what exactly Jim means. With the rush of his formal memories coming back of people, the future stuff didn't really pop up until now. Now he's lifting his head to look Jim over again and grinning. ]

We are.

[ And he realizes as the words come out that it could be applied to two things. ]

We are, Stars. All back to normal.

[ Jim's rubbing his face where there's now a distinct lack of hair - his strongest sense-memory from the time in the future, or whatever it had been - but he stops and looks up at Zell. ]

Do you mean -?

[ RIP hair. It was nice hair.

With the question, Zell's grin went wider. Just going to help himself to Jim's hand to press a kiss against his knuckles. S'up beautiful. ]

Yeah, Stars. It's all back.

[ There's a pause as he realizes something even more important. ]

You aren't coughing.

- I'm not coughing!

[ Jim sounds just as surprised about it as Zell, but now that he stops to think... he feels better than he has in ages. No fever, no cough, no chills... He's just better. ]

It's all fixed. Everything's back where it was, and none of that - [ The future, the one that had hurt so much. ] real.

[ Moving to nuzzle against the side of Jim's face as he wraps his arms around him. ]

You did it!

[ He kicked the sickness away. That was more important than all of the other stuff at the moment. Especially the heart break and all of that. ]

You're better! Perfect again.

I thought -

[ Jim's a little close to tears, now, or at least sounding pretty choked up from where he's buried in Zell's shoulder. ]

You didn't remember for like. Fifteen years. But you remember now?

This place likes messing with us.

[ Screw this place tbh. But he's not letting it damper the current mood. Latching on to this perfect moment where everything is good. ]

I remember now. Want me to prove it?

[ Brushing the pad of his thumb under Jim's eyes carefully. ]

[ Jim meets his eyes, studying them for a moment, before smiling and dipping his head. ]

I believe you.

[ He does, honestly, there's no way Zell could look at him like that if they were strangers. Doesn't stop him from taking a little advantage of the situation, though. ]

But... Tell me something only you'd know.

[ That look that Jim is his world? Or the look of fondly recalling some moments. Putting a hand over a knee as he looks down. ]

Can tell you how you got your scars.

[ Leaning in to kiss his bangs. ]

There's also building a blanket fort in the toy store. Or our first time in the tub at the Inn.

[ Jim flushes. He hadn't told Zell about any of that, even in the fifteen years between.

He rests his hand over Zell's and closes his eyes. ]

Really glad you're back, Sunshine.

[ Has he ever said how much he loves that he can make Jim flush? Ducking down to kiss the corner of his mouth. ]

I'm glad to be back. Man, I'm tired of this place finding ways to hurt you.

[ He needs to go fight a binch or something.

Huffing out a loud breath and then he's just going to lean against Jim. It's nice to be able to touch him or be this close without the edge of not remembering. ]

Me?

[ Jim buries his nose in Zell's jaw and kisses just under his ear. ]

You're the one that died, Sunshine. And... everything else.

[ Sighing contently as that as he tilts his head away to give Jim more access. ]

Yeah. Yeah, I know. But I didn't remember, Stars.

[ And it's crappy. He doesn't regret his choice, and he knows that Jim had people there with him to catch him. It still...

Remembering all the times they lost people and thinking of Jim being hurt or upset... It hurts like a punch to the gut. ]

I left you. Not just dying, but my memories were gone.

I stayed away.

[ In the future. The one that's not going to happen now, because Jim's not going to let it. He'd been an idiot. ]

I couldn't handle it. Not having this.

I sure as hell didn't make it easier for you.

[ Nuzzling against Jim's ear. ]

I stayed away, too. You were hurting. I could see it when you didn't find what you were searching for. I could see how much I let you down.

[ It felt bad, wrong, and just sad. ]

You didn't - Zell -

[ It shouldn't have mattered, even though it did. Maybe if things hadn't happened the way they had, maybe if it hadn't been one thing on top of another, it would have been better in the future. Maybe if Jim promises right now that this won't happen again, it will be. ]

You're my partner. No matter what. And I think - if I'd remembered that - we wouldn't have been so messed up.

[ Going to shift his arms. Siting back on his rear and pulling Jim into his lap. ]

Yeah, we are partners, but it wasn't your fault. This place messed with us big time.

[ Big time feels like it's being put lightly. Rubbing circles against his back as he tries to meet his eyes. ]

We now know more about what it can do. We can be prepared if it ever happens again, right?

[ Jim remembers when he first heard about Guardian Forces, how horrifying it had been. How he'd promised that they would just start over, if they had to. How wrong he'd been. ]

Right.

[ Jim settles against Zell, knees on either side of his legs, and wraps his arms under Zell's for good measure. ]

You're important. You're worth building something new with. Every time.

[ Kissing his forehead and then resting his own there. His heart had been feeling heavy, and at being told he's worth building something new with, it feels a little better. ]

You too. You're worth building something new. So, if you ever forget this or us. I'll do my best to make you fall for me all over again.

[ Maybe without the actual falling. ]

[ Some days Jim really, really doesn't deserve Zell. ]

You made me better. Just by being here. You get that, don't you?

[ Not just happier, but healthy again, Jim's pretty sure. ]

[ There are times he forgets honestly just how he makes Jim feels. Its only when they are alone together or when they are playing around in the snow that he catches it and it takes him unawares all over again. Knowing someone cares as much and has changed just as much as he cares and changed is amazing. ]

I mean, you make me better. You give me a reason to smile, Stars. And I want to keep improving and learning with you.

[ Leaning in to give a chaste kiss on his lips. ]

Edited 2018-02-05 07:36 (UTC)

You're already pretty amazing.

[ There's a reason Jim started calling him Sunshine in earnest; sometimes that smile's the only thing that makes all this seem worth it. ]

No improvements needed.

I can think of something that needs improvement.

[ Bumping their noses. ]

More kisses? [ He's been starved of affection with their memory future weirdness. ]

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